Resolve & Resolutions

I never make the traditional “New Year's Resolutions” because they don't work. We've all seen it. January and February your Weight Watcher's meetings are jammed packed with people who will hang around long enough to lose 10 pounds and then you don't see them again after March. The parking lot at the gym is so packed that you have to park way over by the Olive Garden and hoof it in the freezing, windy weather. Then walk the half mile back out to your car wet and sweaty. Cold. And you're frustrated because you know it's all because those freaking resolution-making-people are wasting their time and yours. You're angry because they're going to quit and you're working so hard not to.

Maybe it's hateful to think, but people that quit really get me down, even more so recently than in the past. I've had to try a really long time to get where I am today and though I try to be as humble as possible (I haven't been 217 pounds in so long, I barely remember what it was like, so that makes it easy to shrug off progress and think, “oh well, so many people have done this!”). Don't quit.

Quitting is impossible if you're changing your lifestyle. Giving in to one piece of chocolate cake isn't quitting. Not exercising for a week isn't quitting. Even gaining some weight back isn't quitting so long as you're actively aware of what you're doing. Quitting is letting go day after day, thinking, “Well, I've broken the rules already today, so this day is a wash.” You can't succeed that way. If you screw up at lunch time, do better at dinner. If you screw up today, do better tomorrow. Each morning is a new chance, a fresh page on your food log. The first day of the year is just the next new chance, just like the second day of the new year will be.

My size 8 pants are getting big...

I do take a moment to reflect on the past year and come up with a short list of things I'd like to see happen in the upcoming year. On December 31, 2011, I wanted to see 150 lbs in 2012. I wanted to read more. I wanted to write more.

Can't say I read more... with taking up running that doesn't exactly leave much time for reading. I did read a few books and I definitely purchased some books with good intentions. I saw 150 lbs on the scale! And then I saw 145... and 140... and now I'm chilling well under the 145 goal at 137. I wrote more! Look at this blog! 48 posts now. I also kept up with my poetry and in 2012 I finally submitted something to a literary journal. Got an honorable mention on the first thing I've submitted in my adulthood, so I'd say that's pretty awesome. Still have the letter attached to my fridge.

I think having goals or aspirations for the New Year is a good thing but just like anything you need to go into it being okay to fail. Don't aspire for something that HAS to be done or something that if you don't meet the goal, it will ruin your life. Like quitting smoking... losing weight. Honestly, I was around 162 lbs this time last year. If I didn't meet the goal of 150 by the end of 2012, it's not like it would be the end of the world. If it's quitting an addiction... smoking, eating, drinking... don't make a resolution: slip on your resolve and just make it happen.

Without the “New Year's Resolution” you can still achieve great things! I had no idea I was going to start running when 2012 started... then March rolled around and I started Couch to 5k and 2012 brought with it approximately 200 miles between two pair of shoes. Now I can't imagine being without the ability to do it. I've said before that it takes 30 days to create a healthy habit. That takes resolve.

For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about what I want my “things I'd like to see” list for 2013 to include. I'd like to stay below my goal weight of 145 lbs in 2013. I don't think that's going to be a problem because I've got a pretty solid lifestyle going here. I'd also like to keep a log of my fitness this year. I estimated my miles ran up above because I honestly don't know. I was keeping track through Couch to 5k, and then Bridge to 10k keeps track of my total miles ran also, but I forgot the log prior and then I never use anything while running a race, so there's 12.4 miles not counted. I'd like to see what I'm capable of now and how hard work makes me more capable in the future. I ordered a 2013 running log tonight.

I would like to read more. I've worked on trading in some old dvds and books to Amazon and I've done enough to over the cost of a small elliptical machine. That will give me something to read ON... since I feel that chilling on the couch reading is only something I can do if I've exercised today. And then I fall asleep because I'm tired... it'll be nice to move and read simultaneously.

I'd also like to keep up with my race participation. I kicked off the New Year by running a 5k this morning. It was pretty freaking cold and the wind was up, but running through Portsmouth, NH I turned the corner and I go to see the ocean. It excites me knowing what I can see and knowing that my feet are the only things I need to get me there. This afternoon, I signed up for another for March. I've got aspirations to run a half marathon this year in September. Plenty of training will happen once it gets warmer. I'm a little tired of running in the cold.

What's been going on the last week or so for me? Well, food has been interesting. Lots of opportunities for candy and cookies at work and I've had my share. I used those Perdue Simply Smart chicken tenders to make a buffalo chicken salad that was less than 200 calories. Frank's makes a buffalo sauce that is so delish.

I treated myself to breakfast Sunday morning at my favorite cafe and though I usually get pancakes when I go there, I decided to be a good girl and order what they called the Egg White D'Lite. This was two egg whites cooked omelette style then topped with a grilled portabella mushroom cap, swiss cheese, spinach and tomato... topped with pesto. Came with multigrain toast, two triangles I dipped in the pesto, the other two I indulged in some grape jelly, which I hadn't eaten in forever. If this cafe were closer to my office, I'd eat there all the time. They make some kick ass salads.

Weight loss is remaining the same... actually a little more the same than usual. Usually by now I've put back 2 pounds that I hang on to until mother nature deems it necessary for me to let it go. Right now I'm stay within a half pound of my lowest recent weight, so not bad.

Working out has been fun recently. I thought I was going to die in that 5k today because I haven't gone running in forever (i.e. two weeks). I still finished in under 32 minutes though, and I guess what I've been up to in the warm inside helped with that. With my Christmas gift cards I ordered some new workout videos. I've been doing Leah Sarago's Ballet Body and Jillian Michael's Kickbox Fast Fix. Both of these are super; the kickbox one is just fun and it completely gets my mind off the fact that I'm working out. Ballet Body is hardcore and tough and I've cried... and screamed... and I come back for more. I've done the lower body DVD twice now and the upper body workout once. Both were amazing, very slow and deliberate. I've got a few more workout DVDs to try out; love having the variety.

I've worked out a couple times at my handsome gentleman's house in the last week or so. He has his weight lifting equipment down in his basement and there's a mirror down there. I had no idea that I was getting so tiny... I had to take some pictures. Look at my shoulder... I think it looks so strong... haha. The awesome part about these pictures is when I look at them I see a little “fat roll” right under my sports bra. But that's my rib cage. That part is hard. Pretty amazing.

Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe New Year celebration. Now to let the confetti settle and get back to normal. Get back to living life the way we do... and remember that quitting is impossible. You have the resolve not to quit.