Three weeks now I've held onto this
goal weight. I'm probably annoying a lot of people. I can't get
over it. I get excited every time I pass by a mirror. Half my
clothes are too big and I really don't mind showing that off.
Meeting new people, it kind of goes like this: “Hi, I'm Katie, it's
nice to meet you... I've lost 73 pounds!!!!!!” Got to admit. It's
probably a little irritating.
But you know what? I've earned a
little bit of irritating. I've earned the ability to be selfish and
self-centered. I've earned some self-confidence. I've worked for a
really long time and by golly I'm going to brag about it!!!!
Speaking of bragging...
At the start of the Summer I had to get
some new shorts/capris because a) I was no longer afraid to wear
shorts and 2) all of the shorts/capris that I already owned were
falling off of me. Went to Old Navy. Scored some Size 10s. While
shopping, I picked up a pair of jeans on clearance that were also
size 10. If you've ever been to Old Navy you'll know that the
dressing rooms are something of a crazy, people-crowded disaster...
so after fighting through trying on shorts, I figured size 10 jeans
would fit too!
Yea. Wrong. Supposedly Old Navy has
“irregular sizes.” I couldn't get these jeans up over my hips.
There was no way. My thighs couldn't shimmy into the tops of the leg
holes. I needed to return them.
Despite all of my recent (couple years
recent) ability to be vigilant and persistent in things like weight
loss, when I have to go BACK to a store and return something, I
absolutely suck at it. I bought a top at Kohl's and they
accidentally left the security tag on... I googled “How to remove a
security tag...” where I read lots of posts where lots of people
accuse people of stealing because it “NEVER” happens... (it
does... obviously). Anyway, it took me a few months to go and have
the tag removed. I couldn't wear it in that time. What was the use
of having it?
So instead I threw the pair of jeans
into my spare bedroom and every time I looked at them I thought to
myself, “I should really return those.” I'm not sure where the
receipt is. I'm more sure that the 90 day return window has come and
gone...
But today I thought, you know, for
giggles... let's try on those jeans.
BAM!
Oh yea. Not only did they get to my
waist, but they zipped.
They're still a little too tight for me
to wear out in public. Also afraid of the fact that I get a slight
case of muffin top with them (probably because I have a fear of low
rise jeans, you know, from the fact that I've always been fat... so I
don't let them ride as low as they should) so I'll give it a little
while longer. But the fact that they fit and they're on... that
makes the fact that I'm a dirty procrastinator totally worth it!
Especially since it's going to get cold soon... and I have only a
couple pair of pants that don't throw me back into the late nineties
and my “grunge” fashion obsession.
I think about what I'm going to need to
do to make these jeans look better. I know my journey isn't over
just because the scale says, “Yay, your BMI is 24! You're not
overweight!” I need to keep my head in the game and not let the
weight come back, because it absolutely can. And I have invested a
lot of money in size 8 pants and I'm not ready to lose them because
they won't fit (okay, maybe if they're too big that's okay haha).
My first task is to keep exercise new
and exciting. This I've been slacking on... but I have good
intentions. I have these intentions of doing some sort of physical
activity every day. It could be house work (procrastinator...),
could go for a run, could go to dance class, play a sport or do a
video. I just want to make sure I'm moving.
But then I wonder... and I have
delusions of grandeur when I think about this, I wonder if I could
train myself up to actually being “fit.” I wonder if an ab
workout regimen would tighten up the last bit of “pooch” I've got
going. My stomach and my arms... just need some toning there. I
think about trying Insanity. I think of challenging myself and
pushing myself to limits. Trying to really get dedicated to Ripped
in 30. It's things I want to do... and the silly thing is is that
I'm afraid of getting started and then something happening, like me
getting sick, and then... well, I don't “give up.” I just have
to start from scratch again. And I just don't.
Another thing I'm looking to do is to
find new meals. I really dug myself into a rut (a tasty rut, though)
when I lost this last bit of weight. I ate simple. I miss some
flavors...
I've been putting a hell of a lot of
time into Pinterest. Good though is that I've actually been trying
some stuff that I found on there.
I made this recipe essentially verbatim. And it was good. Sesame oil is just about the best thing
ever. Of course, I enjoyed the broccoli more than I liked the beef,
per usual...
I also got the idea to put guacamole in
my boiled egg white halves from this Eating Well link... though I
just cheated and used a 100 cal pack of Wholly Guacamole...
The other thing I made this week was
just me chucking stuff into a pan and eating it. Eating healthy
ain't cheap, my friends... nor is whey protein... so sometimes you
just have to get creative. Don't judge me... there's two different
types of pasta in this because I didn't have enough shells :P
I sauteed half a container of sliced
mushrooms with one bell pepper, chopped. I cooked two servings of
pasta... mixed in one serving of Ragu light alfredo... mixed the
whole shebang together and BOOM. Food.
The last thing I'd like to start doing
is reading more. Not just literature reading... but reading about
fitness. Reading about weight loss. Hearing other people's stories.
Watching large quantities of The Biggest Loser has really gotten me
interested in what these transformations do to people's emotions. I
like knowing I'm not alone in how I feel and how I've welcomed myself
into my life.
Right now I'm reading The First 20 Minutes by Gretchen Reynolds. I first heard about this book when
she was on NPR talking about it. I was interested because she talked
about sedintary lifestyles, you know, like me, sitting at a desk all
day. She talked about how important it is to get up every hour and
walk around the office. How it can impact your health to sit still
all day. I wanted to know more.
My Kindle really has opened my eyes to
books that I would otherwise find “boring.” Not boring because
of the subject matter, but just because they read like science. I
have no trouble reading them on the Kindle. I think it's because I
get to play with a toy while I read. It also makes it easy to
highlight interesting passages and see them in list form. Hopefully
after finishing this and future books, I'll do some book review blog
posts.
My weight loss the last couple weeks
has been modest. And that's okay. The week prior I lost .1 lb.
This past week I lost .2 lb. That's okay. I'm fine with the number
slowing down now that the number is acceptable to me. I want to turn
“no longer obese/overweight” into fit. Healthy. I can so keep
this up.
Today I went to have my address changed
on my license... I've only lived here for 2 ½ years, but I hadn't
gotten the replacement yet. New Hampshire lets you change it by mail
and doesn't require an updated license. But I got tired of looking
at the fat picture. Also got tired of telling people that the
address was wrong...
I've become addicted to before and
after pictures.
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