The Biggest Loser and the Emotional Impact of Weight Loss

I can't watch very many reality tv shows. I have this thing where I get REALLY embarrassed for people. When I sit in a staff meeting and people say or do things that are slightly embarrassing for themselves, I just want to crawl under the table, put my hands over my ears and “la la la la” my way into oblivion. I can't see the foolish or conniving things that people do in front of a camera as entertainment. I'm generally repulsed.

But I've found myself catching reruns of The Biggest Loser now that it's on Netflix. Watching this show has REALLY opened my eyes to the psychology behind weight loss and has made me feel so good about myself and the things that I've gone through emotionally over the past year.

I started this blog with the idea of showing people how to cook healthy just cooking for one. Cooking for one, eating for one, has to be the EASIEST way to lose weight. Cooking single portions lends itself to not overeating. You have no one bringing things into the house that you don't need. No one is filling the cabinets or your grocery cart with cookies or soda behind your back. You have complete control of your life.

The last year has officially been the longest period of time that I have lived by myself. The ONLY time before that was after I left my husband. I lived 7 months on my own until I moved in with my dad for a few months before heading off to New Hampshire. It's been lonely at times. It's been eye opening. It's been hard. It's been relaxing. I think it's something everyone should experience before you intend to share your space with anyone else. I think I'll probably be living by myself for many years to come. Unfortunately? I don't know. It'll keep the weight off, that's for sure.

So there were a couple moments on Season 6 of The Biggest Loser (the Families season) that touched me and made me realize some things. The first actually made me break down in hysterical crying. Coleen had lost a bunch of weight and she tried on her “Goal Closet” item and it fit her. And I just lost it. I was so happy for her and then in turn so happy for myself because I think of how I used to need a XL or XXL top and now my closet is full of S and some of my M tops are getting too big.

I've had a lot of experience losing weight... and even I didn't see coming what happens to clothes sizes when you get down to goal. It's almost as if the sizes just fall off. You keep getting smaller even though your weight generally stays the same.

The other thing about that season that really touched me was watching the emotional impact of weight loss unfold. This past Spring I found myself really emotionally drained. I cried a lot. And while I watched the teams on The Biggest Loser battling through their workouts... then they stop and they cry despite the fact that they're doing excellent jobs. That made me feel so not alone.

It's probably very hard for a lot of people to understand. But not me. I've been overweight my whole coherent life and I even remember in my adolescence thinking things that absolutely attributed to that problem. When Nutritional Facts became mandatory my first thought was hating the idea of someone telling me what a “serving size” of something was. I didn't think about all of the other things that Nutritional Facts really do for us. I used to get upset about sports since that was something I never did as a kid. I think it's the fear of the unknown. When you're overweight, you don't know what it's like to be in shape, to be active, to have a healthy lifestyle. It's foreign and scary...

So when you achieve it. When you break past the unknown and become the thing you didn't understand before... it's jolting. Because it isn't being active or being healthy that you didn't understand, it's yourself. I hid behind food, I let food make me feel better, I let the baggy clothes try to hide my fat and if I didn't put forth any effort then I wouldn't draw attention to all that I could not accomplish.

When I ran my first 5k, I cried all the way home.

I've held onto my goal weight for nearly 2 weeks now. Nothing quite keeps you honest the way meeting that magic number will. I've decided that 140 is where I want to be, so I'm still consuming calories in such a way to lose weight. This past weekend I went a little overboard with the fried food, but I got back on track quickly. Being prepared will always work... having the equipment in your fridge and your cabinet to fuel your body and eat healthily sets you up for success.

This past weekend I did do something pretty fun with one of my friend's daughters. We had a little “girls” day which included going to the Mall and trying on clothes that we had no intention of buying... but the AWESOME part was that we were both trying on clothes from the JUNIORS section. And she's 12... and I'm not... :D It made me feel really awesome. Here's a couple samples of what was tried on:

I still have so much trouble when I look in the mirror, but a full length mirror has become something I really enjoy being around. I'm really toning up and losing surface area. I can see my pulse in my wrist. My clavicles are gorgeous.

I'm just so proud of myself.

There wasn't much food talk in this post, but I wanted to share a couple snacks that I've enjoyed recently!! Avocado has become the love of my life and eating it with cottage cheese is the BOMB. I also did some boiled eggs (I did the baked boiled eggs that I mentioned in a previous post) and squirted some Wholly Guacamole into the place where you'd normally put your deviled egg filling. OMG that was delicious. I've also got some Vitatops in my freezer that I'm excited to eat soon. I love the Deep Chocolate ones with peanut butter on top.

Speaking of peanut butter, did I mention that I made my protein shake with vanilla whey protein, skim milk and a tablespoon of peanut butter?

I love food.

I've also tried switching up my workouts!  Kickball season is over so I've signed up now for bowling, which doesn't start until the end of October but I'm SUPER psyched!  I also traded ballet for tap class!  I'm really excited and will hopefully get my shoes in the mail soon!  Hopefully I'll still catch a ballet class every now and then, but mixing things up is always the way to keep things interesting.