"fitspiration" and a 10 Pound Challenge

Please pause a moment while I vomit up all of my excuses:

1.  Leg surgery
2.  Side tattoo
3.  Boyfriend broke up with me
4.  Got back together with said boyfriend
5.  Graduate School

That's why I haven't been blogging and why I've gained 10 pounds.  I'm done being 10 pounds heavier.  Now on with the blog post...


I've seen a lot of hate for the "fitspiration" movement online mostly due to the hardcore-ness of the statements.  Just in case you don't know what I'm referring to... here's a couple examples:

I'm pretty sure that my pinning these on my "Get Fit" Pinterest board has resulted in more than one person unfollowing me, but I honestly think these statements are a GOOD thing.  Here's why:

 1.  Let's exercise some common sense.  Working out will not make you pass out.  It'll only make you puke it you just ate hot wings or drank three glasses of milk.  It's the idea of pushing past your comfort zone.  Encouraging people to work out at their bare minimum doesn't promote change.  If you never challenge your body, you may not get where you want to go.

2.  The feelings of power is an empowering thing.  In believing that you are doing fantastic things, you become fantastic.  You also learn as you go.  When I work out with a video, I don't do side lunges exactly the way they tell me to.  I know that I need to have my feet spread a little not-parallel or I'm going to tip over.  Not every single thing is perfect for every single person. 

3.  "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"  Yea.  It's absolutely true.  Don't get me wrong, I love cake... but the feeling of strength?  The feeling of getting out of bed and not hurting?  Taking the stairs and not being winded?  Yea, those are all better than cake... and they last a lot longer.

These are the reasons why it motivates me.  I have to feel powerful to exude power.  I have to know it's okay to be uncomfortable during my workout.  If you don't sweat, you're not getting the most out of it.  And that's okay, if all you want to do is move.  It's perfectly fine.  It's good for your heart and good for your body to get up and move around in any capacity.  But I want to bound over walls and someday do a pull up.  There's a difference between fit and healthy.  And that's okay.

Speaking of motivation... guess who gained 10 pounds since summer?  Thaaaaat'd be me.  And I recently felt my thighs start to rub together again...  no.  Not again.  It's on, 10 pounds.  Blitzkrieg your ass.

Things I know are that blogging my workout log and my food log makes me behave.  I know that running alone won't do it... since I gained 4 pounds toward the end of Half Marathon training over the summer.  I need to stop the bad habits I picked back up.  Here's my plan.  My goal is to be back at 129 in 10 weeks.  That's only a pound a week. 


Plan:

Eat well
Work out

Simple.  And so far so good.  I went to the grocery Sunday and loaded up on fresh veggies and fruits.  Lunches this week are delicious salads, which I know help me.  I've completed the first week of Ripped in 30 again.  I'm running during my lunch hour.  This is the start of something good.

I joke with myself that I gained 10 pounds back just to give myself something to do...

Since it's been so long since I've blogged, I haven't shared my tattoo!!!  I got this a week after my half marathon, which of course lead to soreness...  also got it a week before I had a benign cyst removed from the back of my leg so, you know, afraid of ripping stitches out...  so I'd been pretty lazy.  One more reason I gotta get back in shape.  I have a hot side tattoo!  :P

So let's all get some renewed motivation!  10 pounds.  10 weeks.  Own it.

Realistic Expectations

What have I learned over these past couple of weeks of inactivity on the blog? That weight lifting and training for a half marathon (while holding a full time job and being a full time graduate student) are not things that can go together. ChaLEAN Extreme is on hiatus until the Half Marathon is over.

What does that mean? Katie, you should seriously cross train because it will make you a better runner.

I know. But I'm seriously tired right now. I'll figure something out.

I caught a cold two weeks ago and so I took 6 days off of running... and then the cold moved into my chest and I kind of still... kept running. I'm a really bad example... or a really great example of what NOT to do. I'm feeling much better though. While I'm running I feel fantastic. Then I stop running and I'll cough for a little bit, but overall improvement once I get up out of bed and moving.

I've been terrible as far as feeding myself is concerned. I've been going mad on the carbs... eating sandwiches (which I never do) and eating way too many sweets. The only thing that has kept me in these size 4 Skinny Jeans is the running. I swear to you. I've been a bad, bad girl. I've better intentions coming up and I've been pretty good today. When I sleep in (and sleep is something I've been lacking here recently) my first breakfast gets screwed up... and each meal afterward gets screwed up. If only I lived in a vacuum.

Some things I ate this week:

Fun with yogurt. I've been seeing how different I can make my vanilla yogurt every time I eat it. Here we have an example of three oreo cookies crushed up in my yogurt (I told you I've been mowing down on the sweets) and then I have fresh strawberries with mini chocolate chips and butterscotch chips (a half serving of each of the chips... so I was measuring...)

Last weekend I treated myself to a breakfast at my favorite cafe. I ordered something sweet but small and it was delicious. This is a cinnamon roll split in half and fried like french toast, covered in powdered sugar and bananas. Yup.

I did have good intentions... my basket at the grocery looked healthy enough.

But it was the exercise that kept me normal this week. I ate out too much and seriously, right now, I'm sitting here with the belly-ache part of a hangover because I had a couple vodka lemonades and a mudslide the size of my face last night. I seriously need to stop eating buffalo anything while drinking. It hurts coming out your nose. I know... another example of the bad example. But I have a lot going on.

Let's talk about the running this week. I'm counting last Sunday because, since I was sick, I had to skip Week 2 of my training (my extended training where I'd planned to do Week 1 twice, so I really didn't miss anything). Here's an overview of the week.

And here's the breakdown. Sunday I did two miles while still sort of sick. Took my handkerchief with me to blow my nose. I made surprisingly good time for feeling like garbage.

 

Wednesday's run was fun because a coworker decided to run with me! We had a good time and it was interesting running with someone else. It definitely made the hour go by faster and forced me to pace a little better than I normally do. We're planning to run again this coming Wednesday after work.

Thursday I participated in another 5k. This one markets itself as being a “Fast 5k” because it's all on a gradual decline. I was no faster than I normally am in a race. In fact, I was 18 seconds short of a personal record. I was totally beat afterward... slept well that night at least.

Saturday's run was the long one for the week; 6 miles. About 5 miles in the back of my knee started to get sore, but that went away with some good stretching afterward. Which comes to my intention to cross train. I think I'm going to do yoga at least one day a week on my non-running days. 

 

 

June is just being hard on me. I thought May was bad. But June has 4ish events at my job... the end of my first term of grad school (which ends today) and the start of my second term of grad school (which starts tomorrow). I'm not resting. I'm not relaxing. I'm taking stress to the internal most parts of me. And then I'm trying to choke it with alcohol. And dessert.

Thank god for running. Or we'd be having a terrible conversation.

Sorry my blog posts are straight and to the point here recently. Just an attempt to stay sane. And hopefully motivate people to do what I'm not doing.

Challenging the Plan

You plan. You plan your meals and your workouts and you try to make your body predictable. Anticipate that little up and down you'll have during the week. Plan your splurge day. Plan dessert. And most days, your plan works out well. You might sneak a couple pieces of candy that you choose to leave off of your tracker. It won't kill you. Tomorrow's a new day.

But then there's times when your plan goes completely out the window. This was my week.

It's still a challenge for those of us that seem to have it all together. Coming down off of that bought of strep throat has been a challenge. I've finished my antibiotics but still have a little cough. I had zero, I mean absolutely no, energy this week. Not a great thing when you're trying to get pumped for a new workout. And then there's this school thing I'm doing. My brain has had to work harder than it's worked in a long time. Which is great! Don't get me wrong... I'm just not used to being so tired.

Monday I came home and did my first Chalean Extreme workout before getting into school work. It was great. I have a hard time focusing when weight lifting, so having someone telling me exactly what to do helps me focus. It's not that I don't know how to do a deadlift... but I'll start thinking about something else while I'm doing it, lose focus, and it's as if I'm not doing it at all, losing count of my reps and not paying attention to the muscle I should be working. Squats have become super easy for me with my strong legs... but squats with 24 pounds were a challenge. And I needed it. I was sore for two days after and I couldn't have been happier.

Tuesday should have been cardio day. I was exhausted. I have a busy mind anyway, constantly thinking and talking to myself and moving, so add school work into it and it gives me another subject to constantly think about and worry and think... so my day at work trying to focus on the task at hand and fight my own brain into submission was tiring. I got home and thought if I laid down for a half hour, I'd get up and do my workout. I put the DVD in... it said it was 45 minutes... I turned it off. I couldn't do 45 minutes of cardio.

But I think that was because I was still technically sick. It was really okay that I didn't do it because I needed to get well and pushing too hard would be a painful setback. I have a race in 3 weeks and I should really get better. On Tuesday, I ended up doing my school work and then making myself go to bed at 8:50.

Wednesday I went to dance class and found myself coughing a lot. Thursday I did the second lifting workout which yielded sore triceps, back, and hamstrings. Deliciously sore. 

Which is great except when you spend the evening cheering on the Bruins at TD Garden and it hurts to curl your beer to drink it (and the next three too, which were all worth every calorie). And you try to sleep but your arms won't let you lay a certain way. I just felt like everything was out to make me tired.

This morning broke the cycle. I woke up at 6 on my own. I laid there... and thought, You could run right now... nothing's stopping you. And rather than make an excuse I got up, put my hair up, strapped on the sports bra and went for it. I haven't ran for two weeks because of the strep throat, so I gave myself two miles. I got the first mile done in 8:49 which reminds me that my muscles are fine. My endurance is just a little off because I can still feel a twinge in my lungs. The second mile was a little over 10 minutes, but that's collectively under 20 minutes and that makes me feel good. Getting out there before the cars woke up made it easier. Just moving forward and enjoying the music.

My biggest thought as my chest started to hurt was, “They don't make sports bras small enough...”

I haven't talked about food yet. My solid eating foundation got me through this week. Not going to lie, last Sunday I went to Domino's for a medium pineapple and jalapeno pizza with a side of cinnamon sticks. Working all day on school work brought back those boredom hunger pains. I found myself snacking more when I was working on papers and reading. The difference now is I drink a seltzer water with it instead of a coke. And my portions are measured and under control.

Teaching yourself to eat can really help get you through the times when you can't exercise or you really are too busy or too tired. Don't use exercise to eat. Let it be the extra push that helps you burn fat and transform you.

It's funny what happens when you break away from your plan and try something new. A couple weeks ago I had altered my calories on MFP to “lose .5 lbs a week.” I get to eat 1390 now. Not that I wasn't eating that before, but now I get to eat it without working out for it. And I lost weight. I'm super close to seeing that 129 on the scale that I'm looking for :) I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there. It was never part of the plan. Just a happy accident.

 This week in food, I spent most of my time enjoy different ways of eating the things I've been eating all along. Yesterday, I bought bread for the first time in FOREVER at the grocery so that I could eat my veggie burger on a bun. I had some chili still in the fridge, so I topped my veggie burger with chili (which was also vegetarian). I could only eat half of it, which was sort of funny because you put a big ol' cow burger in my hands and I devour it pretty quickly. To quote my friend that went to TGI Friday's with me: “Did you taste it?”

Instead of going to my favorite cafe for breakfast this morning, I decided to make my own pancakes and save on the carbs and calories. Finally tried putting chocolate chips in my banana pancakes. For those of you who forgot how to make these or haven't made them before, all you need is:

 2 eggs

1 banana, sliced

1 serving of mini chocolate chips

½ Tbsp powdered sugar

Blend the eggs and banana together until smooth. Use this as your pancake batter. The only difference with these pancakes is they don't act like pancakes on the griddle, so you need to watch them. A good hot griddle can really help. Pour the batter out and then plop some chocolate chips on top. Sprinkle the whole lot with powdered sugar. A plate full of 6 pancakes costs you only 315 calories and you get 14 grams of protein. To give you some perspective, 4 chocolate chip pancakes at IHOP are 720 calories, twice the fat (at 24g) and almost 15 TIMES THE SODIUM... there's over 2000 mg of sodium in those IHOP pancakes. You don't have to sacrifice the thing you want for a good decision.

I had some more quinoa with salmon and baby bella mushrooms. I finished off the baby bellas Friday night with my handsome gentleman. I made a stir fry with potatoes, zucchini and mushrooms to go with our pork tenderloin. I really love cooking for him. He always shows appreciation.

I'm hoping the week ahead will be a little easier than last week. Probably won't be, since I got two days off this week, so I had most of the afternoon Friday to work on school stuff.

Going to go change my clothes and lift some weights now.

What You Want

Every other week at the office I've been facilitating “healthy lifestyle support group meetings.” Though the people that have been attending are all interested in losing weight, the purpose isn't necessarily to do that, but rather to adapt our lives to treating ourselves better and practicing healthy habits. The last few meetings I've tried to come up with a topic to talk about because there's only so much you can say about what you're doing to try to stay healthy. This coming week, I'm going to talk about excuses.

In an attempt to not sound mean... which it might come off as mean but really it just is “stern” or “determined” when I say that I'm so tired of hearing excuses. And we have excuses for everything we don't really want to do. It reminds me of one of my favorite pins on Pinterest... the quote that says, “Don't be disappointed by the results you didn't get from the work you didn't do.” It comes down to deciding what you want.

What do you want? If you want pizza, I'm sure there's nothing stopping you there. But maybe you want to lose weight or you want to exercise more or you want to feel great and confident in tank tops this summer. But do you really want it? You MUST want it. You have to want it. Otherwise, there's nothing that's going to keep you from making an excuse to not get it.

Some excuses for not eating healthy and exercising. Just to name a few...

It's too expensive to eat healthy.

I don't have time to exercise.

I'm tired after work and don't feel like exercising.

Food planning and packing lunches is hard work.

I can't think of anything to cook.

Pardon my frankness, but each of these things and probably anything you could come up with for me is complete bullshit. I went to the grocery for the week and spent $41 for myself... last week I got 433 minutes of activity, which represents a whopping 4% of the minutes in my week. I work 25% of the minutes in the week. You don't think I'm tired after a day at work? But I come home and I exercise anyway because it's important to me. Because I want to. Food planning is fun. I love food. I look forward to snack time because I know what I have coming to me. And if you're still reading my blog and you can't think of anything to cook, well, I'm not doing a very good job, am I?

Do you want to get to the point where all of this, all the work, it's just second nature? Do you really want it? It takes work. It takes thought and awareness. It takes your attention. And it's worth it.

There's a flip side to this. And it's something that I struggle with because now that I'm where I want to be I find myself terrified that something is going to happen that is going to make me having to start all over again (hopefully that's not likely). It's okay not to want this. It's okay to be content with how things are. If you don't want it, no one is twisting your arm (except maybe your doctor). But if you feel like you're trying and you feel like you want it, chances are you do. You're just scared or overwhelmed or the things that need to change aren't changing fast enough for you and you're getting discouraged. That isn't the time to make excuses. That's the time to evaluate what you're doing and find something else that works for you. Change what you're eating. Drink more water. Change the type of exercise you're doing. Don't sabotage yourself with excuses.

I think this time last year I talked about trigger foods. About the foods you can't trust yourself with. Today I try and think of a list of trigger foods and I don't have any. I laughingly think to myself that I'm cured of my carb cravings. I can't remember the last time I had a REAL sandwich... with bread. The last time I had real potato chips. And if I did have them it was on a plate, not out of a bag. I have day dreams about apples and peanut butter. I used to make myself two servings of pasta. I could clean my plate at the Olive Garden. I haven't been to the Olive Garden in a year and a half.

I run those healthy lifestyle meetings and I do this blog to remind you that it's possible. Not only to tell you that it's possible, but to tell me that I'm not dreaming. I stay accountable for myself. I stay accountable for you, reading these words now. I stay accountable for my coworkers that come in to work, step on a scale, and talk to me about eating well.

In the spirit of not making any more excuses, I'm happy to report that I've done something non-weight related that I'm really proud of and really excited to get started with. I've been accepted to Graduate School and I'm going to start working toward an MA in English and Creative Writing in Poetry. I've been making excuses for years.

At the end of the last semester of my undergrad, I held in my hand a letter telling me that I was not accepted to graduate school. It had two sentences. It gave me nothing other than telling me that I wasn't what they wanted. I wanted to be a teacher. Maybe I didn't, maybe I didn't really want to be a teacher. I had just been in school for so long, being at teacher felt like an extension of school. It was extension of the comfortable. I knew school. I had 16 years of it under my built. I knew how hallways and class bells and lockers worked. I was used to being around students and teachers. And I loved learning. So it seemed like that was what I should do.

I feel like the whole experience of applying and preparing for this thing that I didn't get to do, it all seems so surreal now. I took the GRE and PRAXIS exams for no good reason. I got good scores. And ever since I held that letter telling me that I wasn't what they wanted, I started to reevaluate what it was that I wanted. I'd fantasized about an MFA in Poetry. Most of those programs, including the one that I found here in New Hampshire, always involve sequestering yourself. Like I have to take a journey to Walden Pond and live off the land until I create this epic opus of my work that stands for something. Made out of my sinew, etched in my bones. No one has time for that. Not someone who has a mortgage and lives on her own and works full time. We don't get to move into Robert Frost's house and write by the flickering firelight.

Then last year, when I was going through the little bit of therapy that I allowed myself, she asked me why I didn't go back to school if I wanted to. My excuse to her was the money. My undergrad is paid off, thanks to the fastidiousness of an ex-husband terrified of debt, so I just felt like creating debt for myself wasn't in the cards. I barely have enough money to pay the bills I have. So what was the use of adding on more bills for a Master's degree I don't need.

She told me it was okay to go back to school.

Then I wondered about the program. Do I really want a Master's in English? What good is it? My excuse then became, well, should I do something that I love or should I do something that will make sense for what I do? Shouldn't I get an MBA or something with organizational leadership. Something that will make me a better office worker? And I thought about it and thought about it. And the excuse is my indecision.

On President's Day, I'm sitting on the couch, drinking my first breakfast, watching the news and there's a commercial for Southern New Hampshire University's online Master's programs, so I flipped through the website to see what they had. And there it was. MA in Creative Writing. All online. No flippant exodus into solitude required. And I'd end the program with a thesis consisting of my poems and with not only a deeper understanding of the thing that I love most but I think of myself too.

When you peel away all the excuses and you see what you really want, the decision is easy.

I put together 6 pages of poems. I write a statement of purpose. I filled out an application and I did a FAFSA for the first time in 7 years (which by the way, is so super easy when you do it with your own tax information and not that of your parent's). And I got an e-mail from my admission counselor that I had been accepted into the program. I'm registered for my first two classes and I've got most of my books already. I start April 1. I'm so excited. I'm proud of myself for getting something that I want. I should really be used to it by now, but the more I focus, the more I achieve and the more I give away my fear of failure... it's becoming second nature and like I should wonder why I ever settled on what I didn't really want.

I doubt it's going to take up that much of my time. I do have a terribly large amount of free time. Bowling will be over on the 18^th, so I'm just going to take a break from organized sports for a while. Besides, softball season is starting soon and I do so enjoy watching my handsome gentleman play his games. I'll just need to make much more time for reading and writing (oh darn). My goal is to get good grades and not give up on my exercising.

Another goal I have to tackle involves emptying out my drawers and closet of clothes that just don't fit anymore and writing down a list of what I need to replace.  I have no shorts or capris to wear this coming spring/summer because they're all huge.  Size 10 doesn't fit anymore... so everything I had to buy last summer is void.  Can't fake this stuff.

This week in review... I'm starting to learn how my body reacts to this new pill and oh boy do I get the munchies like a crazy woman in the final two weeks of the pack. Not the last week as much, but it's essentially like I can eat my weight in anything. Anything that can sit still long enough to be bitten off and chewed and swallowed. That Papa John's pizza that I ordered with that god forsaken half off coupon they sent me went down so easy. But do you know what I didn't do? I didn't order the cinnapie to go with it. Tally mark on the “victory” column. Here's what I ate this week:

Monday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake (Almond milk and strawberries with Vanilla protein)

2^nd Breakfast: Peanut Butter and Banana Oatmeal

Lunch: Salmon and Mango Salad

Dinner: Peanut Butter Protein Shake

Snacks: Peach Yogurt and Candy (caaaandy)

Tuesday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake (Milk and Cinnamon)

2^nd Breakfast: Peanut Butter and Banana Oatmeal

Lunch: Amy's Medium Organic Chili and Sweet Potato

Dinner: The rest of the Papa John's pizza

Snacks: Candy and a Protein Bar (i.e. candy with protein in it)

Wednesday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake (Almond Milk and Chai)

2^nd Breakfast: Vita Top and Banana

Lunch: Lean Cuisine Southwest Chicken Salad Additions

Dinner: Salmon and Sweet Potato

Snacks: Cottage Cheese, Strawberries, and a Deep Chocolate Vitamuffin

Thursday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake (Almond Milk and Strawberries)

2^nd Breakfast: Vitabun (English Muffin), Peanut Butter and Banana

Lunch: Veggie Sushi Roll

Dinner: Pork Tenderloin with Shiitake Mushrooms and Broccoli

Snacks: Fiber One Chocolate Cereal and Milk

Friday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake

2^nd Breakfast: Vitatop, Peanut Butter and Banana

Lunch: Spinach/Romaine Salad with Blood Orange

Dinner: Leftovers of Pork Tenderloin and Veggies

Snacks: Cookies and Cream Cake (it was a small piece... that I deserved...)

Saturday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake

2^nd Breakfast: Vitatop with Peanut Butter

Lunch: Salmon and Peas and Carrots

Dinner: Side Salad, Small piece of garlic bread and veggie lasagna

Snacks: Shake made of strawberry yogurt, almond milk and frozen banana. Also some almonds.

Sunday

1^st Breakfast: Protein Shake (milk and chai)

2^nd Breakfast: Vitabun (English Muffin), Egg and ½ Avocado

Lunch:

Dinner:

Snacks:

Let's go over a few of those things. I'm trying to get as adventurous as I can with my protein shakes because I need to keep them not boring. Sometimes it's just easier to mix up my protein in milk and drink it while doing my hair in the morning and be done with it. But I've taken to breaking out the Magic Bullet in the morning and throwing some fruit in there. I bought a box of straws a couple weeks ago and that has made shakes so much more delicious. It's amazing what a straw can do.

I've also taken to the afternoon snack in such a way that I'm considering changing my meal names on MyFitnessPal to reflect the absolute necessity that the 3:00 PM meal has in my life at the moment. I tried to make them pretty this week.

Second breakfast this morning was a delicious breakfast sandwich. I had a free shipping coupon for Vitalicious so I stocked up on Vitatops, got some Vitamuffins for the first time (the Deep Chocolate legit “muffin” is so soft and delicious), and I also got a couple packages of the Vitabuns to throw in the freezer. They're really good and I feel like they're just more sturdy than your typical english muffin. It's also 100 calories.

Spent the morning at the grocery and I've found that shopping the perimeter of the store does in fact give you the most healthy options. I've also found that I've become that snooty person who buys organic food. It's really not on purpose, I just have in my mind what I want and there isn't a non-organic option at the store. I can buy organic food and still keep to my $40 per week budget. Give me another excuse that you can't afford to eat healthy. I eat a ton of food for $40.

Yesterday's afternoon snack was the bomb. There should always be a frozen banana in your freezer for instances of milk shake. Yesterday I blended ½ of almond milk with a 6 oz container of Stoneyfield Farms Strawberry Blends yogurt and a frozen banana. Don't forget the straw. Oh man. So freaking good.

Luckily the bit of candy obsession that I had this week (and the large pizza) didn't keep me from getting down a little more.  Lost .2 lbs this MONTH.  Yea.  It goes by months now.

That's how I fueled. How did I burn?

Monday: 30 Day Shred, Level 2, Day 6, Bowling and 12 Push-ups

Tuesday: Run to work, 2.75 miles and 15 Push-ups

Wednesday: 30 Day Shred, Level 3, Day 1 and 15 Push-ups

Thursday: 30 Day Shred, Level 3, Day 1 and 15 Push-ups

Friday: REST and 17 Push-ups

Saturday: Run 3.1 miles, beat my PR for mile time with a 8:51 minute mile, and 17 Push-ups

Sunday: 30 Day Shred, Level 3, Day 3 and 20 Push-ups

I really didn't like Level 2 of 30 Day Shred. There were too many reps. It seemed like overkill. It doesn't have the same layout as Ripped in 30 where she does maybe 3 strength exercises and you do them all an equal amount of time. In 30 Day Shred, you start with the first strength exercise in the circuit, do that for 30 seconds, then the second exercise is done for 1 minute. Doing rows for 3 minutes straight is just... irritating. But I made it through and got to Level 3 this week. Only 3 more exercises left in 30 Day Shred. I'm so proud of how I've kept up with exercising this year. I give myself one rest day a week and it's been that way since January 7^th. That's 2 months. Wowza. I've never exercised like this and I love the way I'm changing and I love the way I feel.

On Tuesday I ran to work... which was mostly out of utility because my car was in the shop, but it was nice to get some activity in before work. Unfortunately, the temperatures were colder than I usually run and the sidewalks were really dangerous. I made terrible time and it was an overall bad run. But that's okay. A bad run is better than no run at all and I still burned calories. Yesterday's run made up for it because I ROCKED the HOUSE! I broke my record speed for a mile not once, but technically twice. My first mile and my second mile were both faster than my previous record, first mile clocking in at 8:51 and my second at 9:16. Finished a 5k length in 29:37. I think that's the fastest I've ever done that in a training run. I have a 5k this coming Saturday and I'm so excited to see how fast I go.

A little aside about my running and what I've noticed. I have never been “trained” when it comes to running. I've done my apps and I've read articles and I try to learn what I can about form and ways to train, but I've never done anything organized. I'm finding that the more core strength I have, my runs are becoming easier and faster. I run not only with my legs but with my lower abs and obliques. I can feel them tighten when I speed up. I feel that my breath is stronger and better controlled. My leg strength has really helped too. I feel that I can push off of the ground better and my legs don't get tired. Running 3.1 is now just something I do.

Go out this week and do something that you really want. Find what you want and make it happen for yourself. Success breeds confidence and that breeds more success. Don't settle and don't make excuses. You're worth the hard work.

Failure, Defeat and Other Forbidden Terms

Last week (and peppered across several other weeks) I brought up the concept of the habit. I was challenged to talk today about what happens when those habits don't stick. To talk about defeat. It's something I've felt plenty of, but to be honest this is difficult because of where I'm standing. Defeat, obesity, poor health (even when you can't tell) are this mountain I can barely see in the foggy distance when I look over my shoulder. I shift my weight this morning; I'm walking backwards on my path, squinting, trying to remember what it's like to fail.

And eventually, you'll have to do the same thing. Because if I can do this, anyone can do it. Determination and patience are what wakes up failure in the middle of the night, screaming of nightmares.

Growing up, I didn't eat the healthiest but it wasn't terrible. I weighed about 180 pounds from 8^th grade into high school, lost 10 pounds or so getting into the groove of high school (plus I took PE for the first time since elementary school my freshman year). We'd have your typical Southern cuisine. Things were deep fried. Things were fried in bacon grease. You put a scoop of bacon grease into your green beans because you can. An aside, my grandpa used to be on several heart medications, even had a heart attack, but sadly now that my grandma is gone and doesn't cook for him anymore, he's off of them and has lost weight. I love(d) my grandma dearly... but she had 7 inches of height on me, so 180 looked a little better on her.

I think of growing up in Kentucky and I don't want to make excuses, but it made it hard. These were habits too. Saving bacon grease after frying up a pound of bacon for 3 people. Home fried chicken tenders. Margarine. These are habits just like getting in 6 days of exercise a week. They're just bad habits.

There were some things growing up that were positive. We rarely had soda. If we got a case of soda it usually stayed in the fridge in the basement, therefore out of sight and it really was a treat. We also didn't eat out very much.

Those two things lead to damaging habit creation when you become an adult. When you have your own fridge and you make sure it is stocked with Coke. When you eat out at least once a day in the land of 1000 restaurants. So then the weekend before my Freshman Orientation at college, I met the boy I'd later marry. And when you really have nothing in common... when you have to change yourself because you want to be compatible with the only guy that has ever shown any interest in you... you find the thing you have in common and you overindulge. And that was food. Eating out. Trying new restaurants. Trying recipes. He was 190 lbs when I met him and he was a biker. By the time our lifestyle got the best of our waistlines, I was 217 pounds and he was upwards of 240, if I'm remembering right. I might be giving him the benefit of the doubt with my memory.

So here I am, 217 pounds, and here are my habits: I go to work. I work in an office and getting to go out to lunch is the only way you can keep sanity. There were snacks everywhere. Volunteers would bring in candies and cookies and things like that to say thank you to us. Coworkers would bring in cupcakes or donuts. And when your habit is to not show any self control, and when others aren't eating it, you are compulsively eating three donuts. Three cupcakes. I go home. At home we had every electronic device under the sun. Pick your video game. Watch it. Watch television. Anything that involves a comfortable corner of the couch. Don't feel like cooking, so let's order takeout. As the days before I walked out on my marriage came upon me, I was asking him to bring me home McDonald's every night. When your mouth is full, you don't have to speak. When something tastes good, it brings a certain level of joy in places you don't normally feel it.

These things are failure at living a healthy lifestyle. 

I saw one of those “inspirational” photos on Pinterest recently that describes exactly what I try to preach: “One bad meal does not make you fat, just like one good meal will not make you thin.” Yesterday was the perfect example. I got to spend the day with my handsome gentleman and his kiddos. I took my “rest” day from exercise, mainly for convenience and because I had not had a rest day in 8 days (sorry, exercise addiction forming here) but I'm usually pretty active when I see the kiddos. There's always a large quantity of crab walking. Don't ask.

Anyhow, I weighed myself on his scale which isn't as fancy as mine, just does half pounds... so I was 130.5 yesterday morning. Don't get so excited, I can usually add 2 pounds to that, so for the sake of using this data, we'll say I weighed 132.5 yesterday morning. Eating is always tough because those skinny kids like chips and such. I pass for the most part. HG made me eggs, those were tasty. But by 3:00 we were starving so we got some pizza. I ate half of a medium pepperoni pizza. I hadn't had pepperoni in AGES. I tracked it on MFP like a good girl. 875 calories. That's less calories than a burger at Applebee's, so I'd say I did pretty good for a bad meal.

This morning, I woke up and weighed on my scale. 133.4. I was THRILLED! I ate half a freaking pizza!!! Loved every minute of it.

The difference is I am not making it a habit of eating 875 calorie meals every day. Giving yourself a “splurge” meal every once and a while can actually give you a weird boost. Even Bob Harper's “Skinny Rules” say to have a splurge meal every week (I don't do it every week unless you count a salad from a restaurant).

Here's failure... I'll diagram it.

Monday you eat well. You exercise... hell, you run for 30 minutes and are a general badass. Tuesday your legs are sore so instead of getting in some fitness, you decide to take a rest day. Your friends invite you out for dinner and you eat way too much. You eat way too much and you have leftovers, so you take those leftovers home. Wednesday you take those leftovers for lunch. A meeting comes up and it's really stressful, so you go home and you drink and entire bottle of wine by yourself and munch on chips in front of the television. Thursday you feel like you have zero energy, which you do, because you've been filling your body with junk for 3 days. You do nothing. You go back to the couch. Friday you go out to lunch at work. You've lost your endurance. You've lost your healthy eating habits. You have to start over. You need to “detox” your habits. This requires work. You decide it's not worth the work.

In this example, bad habits killed your good ones. Overindulging and not finding “the time” to exercise can take your momentum down. You need to ride the ride. If you slow down at a turn, know that when the sun comes up the next morning, you will increase speed on the straight away. Don't let an unexpected thing stop you dead.

I've heard it said by so many... how it's so easy to put on weight but it takes so long and it's so hard to get weight off. It really is all about habit. Think about how you get ready for work in the morning. I can use my shower routine in the morning as an example. If I don't use shampoo first... absolutely number one first, I will forget to wash my hair. And I've been doing that since I was old enough to take a shower. You need to make eating healthy and treating your body with respect so routine that doing anything else seems foreign. If I forget to use shampoo first and I start washing my face... and then I wash the rest of me... and I turn off the shower. I start toweling off my hair and notice it feels a little heavy and greasy... just because I forgot to wash my hair first doesn't mean that I'm DOOMED to have dirty hair for the rest of my life. I hang the towel back up, probably say a few choice words, fire the shower back up, and I wash my hair.

I don't leave my hair dirty and say to myself, “Well, I blew it for today” and then every time I walk past a trash can, I reach it and rub a big handful of trash in my hair just for good measure. I mean, my hair's already dirty, so what damage is that going to do?

I ate a huge, fatty breakfast... so I might as well stuff myself at lunch. I've already RUINED the day, right?

No.

It has taken me 5 years to get certain foods out of my system and to get to a point where exercise is a priority. FIVE YEARS. You can not and should not be discouraged if you can't do it in three weeks. It's a gradual journey. I used to save up my Weight Watchers points so that I'd have 18 at the end of the day to eat an entire box of macaroni and cheese. Now, right now, I've got 1/3 of a box of Annie's organic mac and cheese in the fridge. That's after eating 1/3 of it for leftovers and 1/3 of it when I first made it. Remember how I had said I always cook a double serving of pasta because I just love it that much. This week, I kid you not, I cooked ½ serving of pasta. Because I didn't feel like eating so much of it.

Sometimes, I get SO SICK of food because of how often I have to eat it now. But that's my life now. And you will get there too.

I have given lists of things to do before, but I think this topic needs its own list of things to do. Things to remember:

1. It's a lifestyle, not a diet. The moment you stop saying, “I'm on a diet” is the moment you have finally accepted that. That's the first step.

2. Learn to feed yourself before you learn to exercise. It's so much easier to exercise when you've lost 20 pounds. You don't need to bombard yourself with changes. Once you have learned how to eat and how to not go overboard, that's when I would start picking up the exercise. I say this because before you learn how to eat, you're not only going to be tempted to eat your exercise, but it's going to be a feeling of difficult that you're not going to stick with. Sweating when I was really big was the most horrible feeling in the world to me.

3. Learning to eat is a journey. If you eat a whole pizza every Friday, don't stop eating pizza. Cut it down to ¾ of a pizza. Then ½. It's a lifestyle, not a diet, and you need to take yourself off of drugs gradually. Just like my macaroni and cheese example. You will wake up one day and not want it at all.

4. Don't exercise a million miles past your potential. If you've never run before, don't start a half-marathon program. But that doesn't mean don't push yourself. Change occurs when it starts to feel like too much. But don't exercise on Day 1 in such a way that you won't do it on Day 2. Know what you can handle and start there. You will get better.

5. You are allowed to deprive yourself!!!! If your snacks are recreational, meaning have zero nutritional value and it's just something to eat, it's OKAY not to eat that! Don't feel like you have to have candy, cookies, cake, just because you always have. I haven't had a soda for 5 months. I don't look at my food log during the day and say, “Well, I have enough calories to have a soda, so why not?”

6. Patience. You won't be able to eat exactly the way you want to or should overnight. Take it slow. Let your body become used to not eating the things you've been eating for so long. Give your body time to adapt. Your body is working even when you aren't. It's your job to move it and fuel it. Eventually, what you fuel it with and what you do with it will click and you'll find what you need to do for your unique self. Don't let failure creep in because you're worth the fight.

I could make infinite lists. The first challenge is believing that you're worth it. You might think you're confident. I always thought I had a certain amount of pride and strength. I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't even know my own potential until I got to where I never thought I'd be.

Well...

That was longer than I thought it would be. Obviously I'm a little passionate about failure nowadays. Let me share with you my week. I didn't share my food log last week, and there really wasn't anything interesting in my food log this week, so I think I'll go with that again. I'm having a little bit of trouble with my eating recently because I don't think I've been eating enough. I had a couple days that I felt unfed when I started in on my exercise. Now that I'm almost up to 6 miles when running, going to need to focus on altering my nutrition to make it that far. I bought myself a book to start reading so that I'll be prepared for May when I start training for my half marathon.

Speaking of training, I've signed up for a few races and I wanted to share that. I feel that even though I'm nowhere near being competitive with other people, signing up for events gives me something to work for. It's hard to run with nothing to run to... I say.

So March 16^th I've got a 5k sponsored by a local restaurant. Haven't done a race in Epping, NH yet. I've had races in Concord, Nashua, Derry and Portsmouth... maybe I'll just run around New Hampshire.

Then May 4^th I've got an obstacle race. 3.5 miles with 14-15 obstacles. Pretty excited because my handsome gentleman is going to be racing too. He's doing the competitive wave, I'm not... so it'll be nice to get to cheer him on.

May 18^th I've got a 12k. I had been looking for 10k races but couldn't find any during the time frame that I wanted it and a coworker brought me info on this race as well as a $5 off coupon for the registration, so why not!

I need to find something to run in July or August. Last year I didn't run in July because it was hot (well, hot to New Hampshire...) but this year I want to try harder. September 8^th is my half-marathon.

I mentioned my yoga injury last week, right?  I did a massive face plant doing crane pose.  Here's what my knees look like this morning.  They're getting better but they're darker.  Then I have the bruises lower on my knee/shin area where my bone protrudes out if I do any of my push ups on my knees.  In 30 Day Shred, I can do the first set of push ups all on my toes, but then after doing two sets of presses and a set of push ups, I do 3/4 of the second set on my knees.  I try to stay off my knees for a lot of these things just to keep from bruising...

My fitness log this week looked like this:

Monday: 30 Day Shred, Level 1, Day 3 and Bowling

Tuesday: Ran 5k during my lunch hour. More on this later.

Wednesday: 30 Day Shred, Level 1, Day 4 and Tap Class

Thursday: 30 Day Shred, Level 1, Day 5

Friday: B210K, Week 3, Day 1. More on this later.

Saturday: REST

Sunday: 30 Day Shred, Level 1, Day 6

My runs this week made me happy. Reason one is that I was actually able to go out and do them with the weather being so incredibly crazy here recently, and reason two because I busted ass and it felt great!

My run during my lunch on Tuesday was the first time I'd ever ran a whole 3.1 miles during lunch. I still got back in plenty of time to change back into my work clothes and freshen up. It was the first 5k that I logged on my app where my first mile took more time than my second, my second took more time than my third. My first mile was 10:13, my second mile was 9:38 and my third mile was 9:35. Average pace was less than 10 minutes. I felt great for the rest of the day after. So proud of myself.

My second run was my longest ever. I was so nervous. I mapped it out on Google maps knowing that with the step up to 63 minutes on the program, I'd probably go 5.6 miles. I went 5.78 instead. It felt so good when I got to 4.5 miles and I knew that the route I had picked out was going to work perfectly and that I was able to do it.

The only issue I'm having while running is the “ring” toe (the one next to the little toe) on my left foot. By mile 5, every time, it starts burning because of the blister that's forming on it. Not sure what to do about that other than wrap a preventative band aid on it. If you know what I could do, comment here please! I'd really like some tips. I'm sure it just has to do with my leading with my left and how much toe room I have in my shoes.

It's snowing right now, so that's going to put a damper on the running for the next few days at least. I'm doing good that I haven't fallen down yet. I've slipped, but stayed on my feet. Exciting also is that this time last year was the first time I'd ever gone out for a run. The last weekend in February last year I did Day 1 of Couch to 5k. I've improved so much and I've lost 20 pounds since then!! Crazy.

So above I shared a bunch of before pictures... it's so weird to me that I look like that, but when I'm shopping online and my measurements tell me I could wear a XS/S bikini bottom, I forget that I'm as small as I am. So here's some pics from this morning. Post workout and shower, but comfy clothes today. I'm wearing my new “Starfish Pants” from Lands End that I got on clearance... I ordered Small but they're a little too big. At least they're comfortable. They're baggy in the front. First world problems.

Time to strap on the boots and go out in the snow for some tasty groceries. I went vegetarian most of this week (because I couldn't buy meat last week as I made it to the store earlier than the counters opened up) so I'm looking for some salmon today.

I have a whole new idea of time now. Every moment is useful. Every day is a joy.

Advice Requires 1% of your DV of Sodium

This has been quite the interesting week. Since President Obama is footing the bill for my BCP nowadays, I've gone back to the generic which gave me a bit of a change when it came to dealing with PMS. Usually I get a nice 1-2 pound weight loss (the only one I get) when I start the placebo pills, but this week, not so much. I felt seriously huge most of the week and couldn't physically shove enough chocolate down my gullet. Blah. But that's over now and yesterday I had a super healthy day. It helped that I didn't leave the house.

So this morning I got a pleasant surprise. 132.9. I hadn't even seen anything in the 133's yet! I'm sure I'll see that tomorrow. That's an official 84 pounds down. Have to admit, it's starting to lose its specialness. I've maintained a weight below my goal for 5 months now and I want to be honest and say that I'm really scared of true maintenance. There's a sick desire in me to see 129 lbs. Now, don't forget, I'm only 5 foot 4, so today I have a BMI of 22.8. Being 129 pounds is only a BMI of 22.1 (I won't go into how BMI is a flawed measure because it doesn't take body fat into account and all that jazz, but for the sake of combating “don't lose too much weight, Katie” I'm going with it). That's perfectly normal. It's so strange for me to even be considering the fact that I could ever be “under” weight. I don't think it's possible, really.

I shoved a cupcake in my mouth on Valentine's Day while screaming, “I eat 1200 calories a day... don't judge me!” :P

For exercise this week I spent most of it alternating between Abs and Yoga before starting 30 Day Shred yesterday. The Ab workout I chose was Jillian's Killer Abs which is a really interesting DVD. If you've never done a Jillian workout and you're looking for one, DO NOT pick this one first. She's really nice... really really nice. And it doesn't motivate me. I like when she screams for me not to stop because usually, she starts screaming about the time that I start wanting to slow down. BUT that said, I really enjoy that workout. Burn about 150 calories doing mostly ab exercises (there's a few cardio intervals too).

I'm two workouts in to 30 Day Shred and after graduating from Ripped in 30, I find myself doing the “bad ass” version of 30 Day Shred. My first workout was kind of... *gulp*... EASY. It's because the cardio portions are all enjoyable moves. Jumping Jacks. Butt Kicks. Punches. Jump Ropes. Nothing too hard to handle. My second time through, I did my butt kicks holding a 7 lb weight to try to make it harder. I did jumping jacks at double time. I do the hard versions of the ab workouts. I'm pretty freaking psyched that I can do it... and that I feel I have to.

I had an idea for today's blog post that revolved around my monthly magazine fix. I threw out a question/answer scenario on Facebook and got an interesting question that sort of melds together with my original idea. So today we're going to talk about advice. Advice and how you usually have to take all of it with a grain of salt.

Thank you, Internet, for enlightening me as to the origin of the phrase “with a grain of salt.” Turns out the Latin word for salt is the same as the word for wit. “Cum grano salis” then could mean “with a grain of wit.” You have to have your wits about you when it comes to advice. You know what's right for you. And you do know what's right... you just might not follow it every day. You know fast food is bad for you. You have eyes. You can read nutrition facts and see that when one meal is over 2000 calories that's probably not going to help you lose weight, considering you do eat two other meals during the day. It's hard when things are written down. It's hard when people are telling you that Item X is the right thing for you to consume and then you're finding that it's making you unsuccessful.

The question posed to me was, “it takes 30 days to set a habit, but how do you make it past day 2?”

That's a question that I could talk about forever but I could never really answer. Because the second day into forming a new lifestyle, that's entirely up to you. I can give advice and tips and share my own experiences as to how it works, but it boils down to your ability to change. Your desire to change. And if you wake up Day 2 and consume 4000 calories and feel miserable and blow off exercising. And then you wake up Day 3 and do the same... you're not ready. Either you're not ready to change or you're changing too much too fast. And that really is okay. Just don't be discouraged by the results you're not getting by the work you're not doing.

Right now I'm ankle deep in my monthly magazine fix. I subscribe to Cooking Light, Weight Watchers, Eating Well and Whole Living. I pick up Runner's World and Women's Health off the shelf at the grocery. I love magazines. I love the pictures of food (food porn) and I love the recipes. I like reading all the different types of advice they give and sometimes I'll get enlightened to new products or something cool to try out. But it's interesting to see their advertisements. What the magazine is saying in the articles vs. what they're saying to you in the ads.

Weight Watchers has the weirdest combination of ads. The articles as well as conversations in Weight Watchers meetings (remember, I participated in Weight Watchers 3 times. It worked for me to a point, but I couldn't get to goal on their program) preach the fact that you can “have what you want” on the Weight Watchers program. This drives me insane.

Sure. It's a points system, just like counting calories is essentially a “points” system where I'm eating 1200 “points” per day. If I had 1200 calories in cupcakes and that's all that I ate today, chances are I would lose weight because mathematically, calories in and calories out, that would work. What members forget is that you CAN NOT “have what you want.” You can have what you want after you have met all of your nutritional needs for the day. It's stated in the handbook... but everyone overlooks that awful part (myself included)

Those extra points you have or the “weekly” points, those are only supposed to be used after you've had your daily amounts of proteins, vegetables, fruits, low fat dairy, etc. I feel that allowing you those extra points is what sets you up for failure. You're essentially getting a free pass to “cheat.” At least if you're going to eat a dessert or something you don't normally eat, don't view it as “I can have it.” It's “I want it, and that's that” and then just suffer the caloric consequences. You're not going to spontaneously combust because you ate too many calories. But you need to remember that you went over yesterday so you don't do it tomorrow.

The ads in WW magazine are for snacks. Talk at the meetings are about low calorie, processed, boxed snacks. There are also ads for plus sized clothing and diabetes medication. Weight Watchers knows the people that are reading the magazine. There are THREE ads for THREE different insulin injections. Don't get me wrong, plenty of people are successful on Weight Watchers, but it's because they're following the program correctly. I seriously doubt Jennifer Hudson eats Nutri-Grain bars and drinks Crystal Light. Those things don't make for a healthy lifestyle. Eating your points in food with a longer shelf life than you isn't helping.

That makes me wonder then what part of the advice you're supposed to take seriously. They're trying to sell you something. And that's one reason why I could never be a “lifestyle coach” because I'm not into selling anyone anything. I like trying all different things. I don't want to endorse anything. There's tons of things that I like and that I would recommend, but you shouldn't base your diet around it. So Weight Watchers has the program they are selling and they have the food they are selling. Even in the WW meetings they tell you to limit the number of frozen dinners (Smart Ones) you eat because they're full of sodium. Sodium retains water in your body and that magic number you're watching on the scale isn't going to go down as quickly.

Back to the question... how do you get past Day 2 of creating a new habit? Learn to tell yourself what to do. There's advertisements and bloggers and magazines and meetings and all of these other people telling you what to do. Learn to discipline yourself. It's okay to deny yourself processed foods. It's okay to deny yourself soda and candy. You will not die without it, though it might feel like it but that's because it's tasty and we're all addicted. Be disciplined enough to create a plan and stick with it.

Here's some examples of how I “discipline myself” with my fitness plan. I've got my glass white board from IKEA that I'm keeping track of my 30 Day Shred workouts on. Every time I complete one, I'll mark it off. This gives me an instant visual of my progress. I've also got a separate calendar where I'm looking at the longer term, which days I'll workout and which days will be a rest day. I pick my rest days based on the fact that I have stuff to do and it would work best for me to rest on those days. By making a calendar and keeping track of my workouts, I'm making an appointment with myself to work on fitness. I'm telling myself that it is a priority and that I will make time for it.

You're bombarded with advice doing workout videos too. To paraphrase Jillian in Level 1 of 30 Day Shred, we are told to change our lives by “just taking the stairs” and those are words that lead to a world of lethargy. You have the ability to work out and push yourself. We chose to listen to the advice that is easy. It's easy to take the stairs and then go home and sit on the couch the rest of the night. It's easy to eat “what you want” just less of it.

I discipline myself with the stuff I eat starting at what I bring home from the grocery. I don't bring home anything I shouldn't eat. I can get what I shouldn't eat at a restaurant. Then they can keep the rest of the ingredients and I can have just my share. If I bring home something I shouldn't have, one of two things happens. Either it sits there, unopened, because I know when I open it I'm going to just suck it down... or I open it and I suck it down. “Bad” things don't last too long at Katie's house.

There's no end to this conversation. It takes willpower. Nothing comes easy and really, do you want it to? At the end of the day, when you go to bed well nourished, coming off the high of getting in a good workout, knowing that you took charge of your life and took charge of your health, wouldn't it make it cheap if it was easy? Be proud of today and let that influence your tomorrow.

In food... this week I did eat healthy as I usually do. I just ate a bunch of candy. My uterus required candy and I gave in and ate the candy. Big deal. It's over now and I'm past it.

Those Skinny Strawberry and Chocolate Chip muffins that I made last week were FABULOUS and I ate them for my Second Breakfasts split open, reheated in the microwave, and then I spread 1 Tbsp of peanut butter split across the four pieces. I've always been afraid of all things PB&J but if this is what PB&J tastes like, sign me up! Except eating fruit rather than jelly is probably better...

I tried a little bit of a lower calorie alternative to my normal peanut butter and banana oatmeal. I crushed up 10 almonds and stirred that into my oatmeal and then put in my banana. It was really tasty! Not as decadent as the peanut butter being that it's all gooey and delicious, but this was a fun, new what to eat it. Always looking for new ways...

 

And then there were salads. And toward the end of the week when I ran out of my salmon and pulled pork, I started throwing cottage cheese into my salad and it was so delicious. 

 I ate my weight in strawberries this week, since for Valentine's Day dinner, I made chocolate covered strawberries. These are actually pretty low in calories for having chocolate. It's about 70 calories for a serving of the melting chocolate and then strawberries are about 15 calories a piece, give or take.

The rest of Valentine's Day dinner was so tasty. I made filet mignon with shrimp, asparagus and rice. I didn't eat any rice, I mainly made it so that my handsome gentleman had enough to eat. I did way too much internet research to cook those steaks because I wanted them to come out tasty. How I ended up cooking them was I marinaded them for a day with olive oil and soy sauce. I pan seared them 4 minutes on each side in my all-stainless steel skillet, then threw the skillet in the oven on 450 for about 7-8 minutes. I transferred them to a plate and covered it with foil while I got the rest of the food finished and plated. They were so good. Rare and delicious. Couldn't have been happier. He seemed to enjoy it too ;)

I can't remember if I mentioned the Fiber One stuff that I tried last week. I did pick up a box of the Fiber One Chocolate 80 Calorie Cereal because I was so into chocolate last week. It's not terrible. It's not delicious, but it's chocolatey and full of fiber, so go for it. It does turn the milk into a delicious chocolate milk, so that's fun. Fiber One Protein Bars, I had the Caramel Nut and it felt a little like eating a Snickers. It was pretty good. At least you get some fiber eating the chocolate.

I also tried Shredded Mini-Wheats in Cinnamon Roll flavor. They're MINI!!! It's super cute! And they were tasty and not much different in stats as the normal shredded mini wheats, which I love.

Lastly to report this week is I got it into my brain to play around in Crane Pose last night. I felt myself tipping too far forward, so to save my glasses-wearing-face, I slammed my knees down. I laid on the floor for a while, doing that Peter Griffin “hissing” sound over and over. It hurt. And now I have two super awesome knots on my knees. They're not too bruised yet, but my knees stay bruised for the most part because they're so bony, so anything I do on the knees (stay mature, people) gives me pretty, purple splotches.

I have tomorrow off for President's Day, so maybe there'll be a run in my future (it's been super cold, super windy, and oh yea, 17 inches of snow WHAT?). Haven't ran in 2 weeks...