Week 5 & 6 of 10 - Christmas Treats and Feeling Defeat

I started out this 10 weeks of me getting back in shape and numbering the weeks in my blog posts in hopes that I'd be sharing actual results with you.  Not so much.  And I'm accepting it for a little while here.  I've been feeling a little blah (had some coughing fits today and I've been really lethargic).  I'm trying to eat well, but it seems like when the sun goes down, I go free-for-all.  I eat well all day and then I get home, where the rest of my food lives, and I just gorge myself.

It also hasn't helped my fitness or my ability to do anything other than crawl under the covers with the abundance of cold weather...

I haven't gotten to run in almost 2 weeks and, unfortunately, I haven't done any other kinds of workouts either.  I'm so tired.  I feel just huge and bloated and unmotivated.

I decided to take a step back and look at my body outside of food and exercise.  I've been having terrible breakouts.  Today I woke up with a crazy PMS headache.  Where I used to be able to count on my period for a quick couple-pound weight loss, now it's resulting in weight gains that I can't get rid of--I just feel so abnormal.  Went to the gyno to get my birth control pill changed.  I'm looking forward to starting it up and seeing if it will help my body feel better.  Maybe then I can get motivated again.

Another plan I have to get motivated is a Christmas present that I bought for myself.  On Monday, I should be picking up my Jawbone UP24.  It's one of those fitness/sleep tracker bracelets that I've been in the market for for a while now.  It was between the new Jawbone and the FitBit Force.  I decided to go with the Jawbone mainly because it looks more like a bracelet (so I don't have to hear "what's that around your wrist?" at work) and I liked the way the app looked and the data it seemed to give.

Jawbone also syncs up with my MyFitnessPal.  Which reminds me...  I really shouldn't get myself down about gaining 10 pounds.  I've accepted it.  I even made sure my gains are reflected in MFP and over the past weekend, I met the one-year of logging in milestone.  Even when I went camping up in the middle of nowhere Northern New Hampshire over the summer, I still made sure to log in every day.

I just need to hold on.  I'll get there.  Just need to keep a positive attitude, keep moving, and keep trying to eat right.


Speaking of eating right...  I just got finished making a bunch of Christmas treats for my coworkers.  So here's some recipes for some sugary, fatty goodness!

Apologies that I forgot to take pictures of my Cookies and Creme White Chocolate Bark.  But here's the recipe...

18 Peppermint Oreos (or your favorite flavor)
1 package of white chocolate chips

Prepare Oreos by breaking into smaller pieces.  Hold aside 1/2 cup of Oreo pieces for the top of the bark.

In a double boiler, melt white chocolate chips until smooth.  Remove from heat and mix in Oreo pieces.  The peppermint Oreos have red filling, so the red made the white chocolate red also.

Pour into a 9x9 pan lined with aluminum foil.  Spread evenly.  Top with reserved Oreo pieces and press in gently to secure.  Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.  Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Next up, I made a Cake Batter Chocolate Bark.  For that I used...

1 large package of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 package of white chocolate chips
1/4 cup yellow cake mix
colored sprinkles

In a double boiler, melt semi-sweet chocolate until smooth.  Remove from heat and mix in 1/3 of your colored sprinkles.  Pour into a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil.  Place in refrigerator for 15 minutes, then begin preparing the top layer.

In a double boiler, melt white chocolate chips and yellow cake mix together until smooth.  Remove from heat and add another 1/3 of the sprinkles.  Pour on top of existing semi-sweet chocolate.  Spread as evenly as possible.  Top with the final 1/3 of the sprinkles, pressing in gently to secure.  Refrigerate for at least another 30 minutes.  Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

These were 13-year old girl approved...









The last bark I made was a Trail Mix Chocolate Bark.  Of course you could put anything you like in it... but I chose to use:

1 large package of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup peanuts
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup pretzel pieces

Prepare pretzels by breaking into small pieces.  Combine pretzel pieces, peanuts, and cranberries into a bowl.  Set aside.

In a double boiler, melt semi-sweet chocolate until smooth.  Remove from heat and mix in 2/3 of the combined mix ins, reserving 1/3 for the top.  Mix well and pour into a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil.  Spread evenly.  Top with remaining mix ins and press gently to secure.

Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.  Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.


Have you had enough sugar?  No?  Well, that's good... I have one more...

Of course I got a lot of these ideas off of Pinterest but this one is by far my favorite.  I'm not sure about you, but I love Rice Krispies treats... and I HATE MAKING RICE KRISPIES TREATS!!!  They are messy and sticky and I can never manage to NOT touch them so I get marshmallow goop all congealed on the ends of my fingers.

These are Lumps of Coal Rice Krispies Treats that are a melding of a few recipes I found on Pinterest.  I chose to use:

1/4 cup butter (half of a stick)
10.5 oz bag of mini marshmallows
black food coloring (not gel)
5 cups rice cereal
18 Oreo cookies, cream removed and turned to powder in the food processor

In a non-stick pot (trust me, it makes it easier), melt butter under medium-low to low heat.  Once nearly melted, add mini marshmallows and the cream from your Oreos.  Melt down and add in black food coloring.  When color that you want is achieved, add crumbled Oreos and combine well.  Lastly, remove from heat and add rice cereal.

And mix.

And mix.

And you might need to put the heat back on it so you can actually get it all mixed in.

And mix.

Once all combined, drop in odd shapes onto a parchment paper covered cookie sheet.  Let cool.  These look fantastic and it was fun, though challenging to get them off of the spoon onto the parchment.  I'd recommend using a silicone spatula to mix everything.  It won't damage your pot and it can withstand the heat.

Luckily all of these tasty treats are for my coworkers, so I didn't actually eat any.  I do have the ingredients to make a Oreo Cheesecake Brownie to take over to the handsome gentleman's house for Christmas Eve...  I'll probably end up eating plenty of that.


I'm technically in the middle of Week 6... so I might postpone blog posting again until after Christmas.  I've got some extra days off, so hopefully I'll be able to stay on track and get more active.  I'm sitting here exhausted with a huge headache...

There were a couple of observations I've made over the last two weeks that I wanted to share.  I've been eating a lot more salads... and I wanted everyone to see what a "serving" of croutons looks like...

Depressing.  I know.

Then there's the things that make me happy and keep me going through the day.  I've been mixing my protein shakes in iced coffee... and chasing that with my normal iced tea...

I'd rather drink this than eat candy...

I know my change is coming soon.

Week 3 & 4 of 10 - Pancakes as a Metaphor

Note to self:  Proclaiming that you'd like to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks is easy.  Actually doing it is really hard. 

Why is it so FREAKING HARD!?!?!?!  I'm ANGRY over it.  Of course that just makes me want to drink a caramel frosty shake from Wendy's (yea... last night).  I haven't blogged since before Thanksgiving week, mainly because of the stress that was last week, so I'm going to cover the last two weeks of my 10 week struggle.  We'll try to figure out how I freaking gained 3 more pounds instead of losing anything...  that makes for 13 pounds that I have to lose now.  Again.  Angry.

Thanksgiving week, as it's been for the last 3 Thanksgivings, is a week all to myself.  My handsome gentleman goes off to kill things, so I get a nice, relaxing week to do what I want to do.  And this particular week, I wanted to work out.  So I did.

My workout log for the last two weeks has been really impressive.  I'm proud if it.  And maybe that's why I've gained weight, because my quads are nearly back to their original "hardness."  I've been sticking to Chalean Extreme and after Week 4 of 10, I'm into the third week of the first phase.  Here's my workout log for the past 2 weeks:

Week 3
Monday:  Pushups and Ab Intervals
Tuesday:  30 Minutes of Chalean Extreme Abs (and walking around with my friend!)
Wednesday:  Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 3
Thursday:  Chalean Extreme - Burn Intervals (Cardio)
Friday:  Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 1
Saturday:  Chalean Extreme - Burn Intervals (Cardio)
Sunday:  Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 2

Week 4
Monday:  REST
Tuesday:  Run 3.12 miles
Wednesday:  REST (more like a mental health day... I went to Best Buy and bought a new laptop)
Thursday:  Run 2.61 miles and Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 3
Friday:  Run 3.1 miles and Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 1
Saturday:  REST
Sunday (Today):  Later, at the HG's house planning Chalean Extreme - Burn Circuit 2

It's not like I've been sitting around doing nothing...

It has to be what I've been eating.  Or maybe I am just rebuilding my muscles and they haven't had a chance to burn the fat yet.  It would take a long time to talk about all the food I've been eating.  I really did behave during Thanksgiving week except for the AMAZING food that I partook of with my friend down in Connecticut.

This past week, not so much.  HG came back from his trip which lead to extra snuggly happy time, which snowballed into not getting to the grocery until Wednesday night, which lead to eating out...  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday...  so I didn't really get back on track food-wise until Thursday.  And then yesterday was a little screwy.  I'm going to try very hard to make today a good day.

I get in these moods when I've gained weight where I just don't want to consume things.  I feel like I'm way too full.  So this morning, when I normally would have a protein shake and then at 10:00 have some more breakfast, I decided to combine the two and make protein pancakes...

And then I looked at my list of recipes, which you can now view at this link, and I noticed that I didn't have a recipe for protein pancakes!?!?!  How on earth could that be?  So here's one...

Chocolate Chip Protein Pancakes

120 grams of Bisquick Heart Healthy
1 egg white
2/3 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 scoop Designer Whey chocolate protein powder
1.5 Tbsp mini chocolate chips

I decided to use my Blender Bottle to mix it up... I'd seen a Pinterest pin about making pancake mix in a blender bottle.  And we all know I try things so you don't have to...  I wouldn't call it a disaster, but you do have to dig the little metal ball out and continue to mix it.  But the pouring really helps!  No dripping and no mess.

By now, if you read my blog, you know how to make pancakes.  I pretty much rock at pancakes.  Which is funny.  I used to suck so bad at pancakes because I'm sort of impatient.  You have to wait for one side to cook and you have to be good at knowing when that is based on what the raw side looks like.

I'm stuck in this rut of weight gain in the same way it takes practice to learn how to make pancakes really well.  I am out of practice.  The weather is colder.  I'm discouraged.  I'm burning my proverbial pancakes.

But it will get better.  I'll get back on track.  Things are falling into place and I just need to get to where my brain catches up with me.  And eventually, these muscles I'm building will help me.  I'll get back to normal.  Here's to hoping that Week 5 has some better news. 

My First Half Marathon

I would like to tell you everything.

I would tell you everything, but there’s not enough space on the internet to put it all down here. Every little thing that’s happened to me since the last time that I made time to post on the blog. It’s all overwhelming. Instead I’ll offer a break down… a stream of consciousness. A list of phrases. And when I’m through we will all be on the same page, my skin shed to the floor, and we can start again. You’ll know where I am.

I last posted on June 16^th.

9 year old with a football.

Broken finger.

Two classes vs. summer sun.

Bikini.

6 miles.

Tan.

Fourth of July.

Mountains.

Fish.

Starlight.

Heartbreak.

Leaving me.

Pull back.

Leaving me.

Pull back.

8 miles.

Beer.

Pancakes. Nachos. Beer. Burgers. Beer.

Beer.

129. 131. 133. 135.

Going out.

Midterm.

6 weeks until Half Marathon.

Two classes vs. heartbreak

Dancing partner. Movies. Bowling. Curiosity.

Two classes vs. training runs

10 miles.

Finger splint removed. Still can’t make a fist.

Tan line. Tan lines. No tan lines.

Electric Run.

Sore knees. Lethargy.

2 miles. 5 miles. 2 miles.

Heartbreak.

Pull back.

Hope.

Hate.

Hurt.

End of term. One A. One Incomplete.

12 pages due October 10.

5 line dances in a row.

Confusion.

Numbness.

Beer.

Cleaning house. It’s okay to be alone.

Wake up at 6:00 AM.

Half Marathon.

13.1 miles.

Hope.

I ran my first Half Marathon on Sunday.

I had these dreams of coming home and writing all about it, picking out every little detail for you. Everything I felt. But you don’t realize until you stop running, until you slow down and hit a wall of smiling friends at the end of the line, you let your muscles rest and be sore. You don’t realize how tired you really are. Let’s start at the beginning.

In the 6 weeks leading up to the Half Marathon, I sketched out my training plan up on my fun, glass, Ikea white board. For those who are interested in doing a Half and don’t have anyone to train you, I used the Runner’s World Big Book of Marathon/Half Marathon training. The program really did get me up to the mileage, and it did it even though I pretty much blew off every long run but one of the 10 milers. I doubled up on some weeks just in case I got sick… but for the most part I followed it blindly.

So on my white board, I’d put a blue star over the runs that I did (total of about 14 weeks of training, by the way, so this was at the end). I marked through in red what I didn’t do. Here’s what it looks like now…

I wasn’t eating properly to support my workouts. I have been going out to get my mind off of all of the stress with my relationships and with school… with my work and with my relationships. I’d go out and get things and though my quantity wasn’t terrible (never overfull, always had enough leftovers for 1-2 meals afterward) I still felt sluggish. Perks were: No soda. No fast food.

August 30^th marked my one year anniversary of making goal. Between the eating poorly and the Half Marathon muscle growth, I’m still well under the 145 lb goal, but I’ve been teetering around 135 instead of down toward 130. I’m trying to accept that fact. My clothes all still fit.

Training finished. I made sure to run the last workouts of the week leading up to Sunday’s race. One two miler, one five, and another two. Then I took two days of rest (plus country line dancing and pushups). Went to sleep at 11 PM the night before the race to be up by 6 AM.

I didn’t shower. I had everything already packed up that I needed. Shoes. Spare socks. Two Island Boosts (energy gel). Water belt with Gatorade/water mix. Headphones. Long sleeve. Clothes for post race, if needed. The kitchen sink. A giraffe.

A friend of mine was volunteering for the race, so I picked him up on my way up to Concord, NH. That meant I had to arrive at 7 for him to be there on time. The race started at 9 AM.

I took my time getting ready. Put some friction aid on the side of my toes before slipping on my toe socks. Laced up my shoes. Left my jacket on until the last possible minute, but luckily the sun started to come out (it’s not summer anymore here in New Hampshire, folks). 

Stood around and chatted with people. I knew the organization that was putting the race on, so I knew a lot of the people there. So many hadn’t seen me for a year and were amazed at how I looked after all that training and all that running. It felt really good to be reminded of what I’d accomplished. A lot of the race tips for someone’s first Half Marathon is that you do a race that’s been established for a while and is popular because they’re going to be the ones that know how to keep you hydrated and take care of you. This was the second year of this Half and I was 100% accommodated. It was a great experience. I much preferred knowing tons of people to having a super crowded race.

Half hour left to go. I did a quick little jog around the park where the starting line was. Finished my jog at the porta-potties. Did some upper body stretches. Got my water belt on. Gave my friend my keys. Got my iPhone ready with MapMyWalk and music. I was ready to go.

I started about ¾ of the way back from the start line and watched as I kept up with the group around the first corner.

It’s interesting, running in New Hampshire. There’s never really a moment where you’re not going uphill or downhill. Everything is at least a gradual of each. So all of my training runs had plenty of hills, as did this course.

I remember every mile and yet I don’t. I don’t because I didn’t get a chance to drive or run/walk the course before the day of the race, so most of the time I had no idea where I was. The race was very well marked and I knew a bunch of the people out volunteering to hold back traffic, so it was so nice and motivating to get a kind word and a cheer as I moved forward.

Between miles 3 and 4

I started off fairly quickly. Unlike my training runs, my 3^rd and 4^th miles were not terrible at all. The “Mile 1” marker was a blessing. “Mile 2” a laugh, because very close by was a sign that read “You are not almost there.” Laughed with a couple that was running together, who I later passed and never saw again. “Mile 3” to “Mile 6” are sort of a blur. I did have my headphones (one in my ear, one tucked under the shoulder of my sports bra, so I could hear the other runners and traffic) in but I can’t remember too much of what was playing. I had it going for my pace and to hear when I was close to a mile marker.

“Mile 7” and “Mile 8” brought with it the craziest lower abdominal distress known to man. Wow. You really don’t know what bouncing up and down for an hour and a half can do to your organs. I didn’t get a single side stitch the entire race though… and I did plenty of upper body warm-ups, so the only part of me that felt this race were my heart and my legs.

“Mile 9” and “Mile 10” were exciting. I’d only ever ran 10 miles before this, so every step past the “Mile 10” mark were steps to glory and catching a new horizon with every footfall. Three miles of nothing but milestone.

“Mile 11” saw the pain. My right hamstring all the way up to my right butt cheek was sore. I started massaging my butt while I ran/walked. The walking became more frequent at this point, but it was the case also for the folks that were with me for most of the race.

12.5 Miles

“Mile 12” was heroic. One more mile left to go and I still hadn’t seen my friend at his second post. I knew I’d have someone soon cheering me on. Saw him at the 12.5 mile… the folks I ran with for most of the race were about 2 minutes in front of me. There were people about 2 minutes behind me. It was all me, just like the training and just like getting there and believing I could do it. I did this thing. No one made me, no one helped me (except for that same friend at the 12.5 mile mark took time to run a few of my mid-week medium length runs with me which I am so thankful for).

I knew Charles Street was my last turn. And when I saw that street sign my heart leapt. A slight downhill. And I could see the “13 Mile” marker up ahead. I stopped to walk a little… because I wanted that last .1 mile to be all running. And it was.

My goal for this first Half Marathon was two-fold. Don’t be last. Finish in 2 hours and 30 minutes. I had checked the time when I was starting to slow down and I had already decided that 2 hours, 35 minutes would have been okay…

But once that “13 Mile” mark was right there next to me and I picked up all the strength I had left to run the rest of the race, I entered White Park again, running now on the grass approaching the finish line. And I watched the grass, trying not to fall… and I look up. And I saw 2:28:00 on the clock and I was so happy. Both goals achieved.

I saw my handsome gentleman, still so important to me despite our recent issues and the recent heartbreak and anger/frustration/love. He got this picture of me crossing the finish line. And he walked up to hug me, but I couldn’t stop moving. My legs were insane.

Finish Line

I tried to stretch. I was too excited. I had my medal in one hand, a water bottle in the other. A couple more friends were there at the finish line and I just wanted to blurt out everything I was feeling and everything I saw and experienced.

13.1 miles of big hills…

Trees

Smiles

Cramps

Water

Whispering to myself

Mouthing song lyrics

Strength

Thinking

Loving

Running

Finally I was able to come down from the high. I gave the handsome gentleman the hug he was looking for, but all salty and disgusting. I was congratulated by so many. I checked my results.

Gun Time: 2:28:16

Net Time: 2:28:06

Pace: 11:16

76 out of 98 runners

8 out of 9 in F2029 Division

Looking ahead there’s so much I want to do.

I want to get back on track eating. I want to drink less and really try to focus to make sure I can get back down to 130 or so. I know it’s only 5 pounds… but I worked really hard to get 87 of them off. I don’t want to have to do that again.

Next up on the fitness train, when my legs finally recover (they’re still very “aware” of themselves) is Rushfit. Running a couple days a week. Trying to find that upper body strength that I had with ChaLean that sort of softened up with constant lower body movement. I still can’t make a fist with my broken finger side (left) so it’ll be challenging. I can’t wait to get started.

This coming Saturday, there’ll be a tattoo commemorating the whole experience of the Half Marathon.

And hopefully, next week and each week after will yield a new blog post as I try to put myself back together.

Even the strong ones struggle.

We question what’s right and what we’re doing.

If life were easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.

Realistic Expectations

What have I learned over these past couple of weeks of inactivity on the blog? That weight lifting and training for a half marathon (while holding a full time job and being a full time graduate student) are not things that can go together. ChaLEAN Extreme is on hiatus until the Half Marathon is over.

What does that mean? Katie, you should seriously cross train because it will make you a better runner.

I know. But I'm seriously tired right now. I'll figure something out.

I caught a cold two weeks ago and so I took 6 days off of running... and then the cold moved into my chest and I kind of still... kept running. I'm a really bad example... or a really great example of what NOT to do. I'm feeling much better though. While I'm running I feel fantastic. Then I stop running and I'll cough for a little bit, but overall improvement once I get up out of bed and moving.

I've been terrible as far as feeding myself is concerned. I've been going mad on the carbs... eating sandwiches (which I never do) and eating way too many sweets. The only thing that has kept me in these size 4 Skinny Jeans is the running. I swear to you. I've been a bad, bad girl. I've better intentions coming up and I've been pretty good today. When I sleep in (and sleep is something I've been lacking here recently) my first breakfast gets screwed up... and each meal afterward gets screwed up. If only I lived in a vacuum.

Some things I ate this week:

Fun with yogurt. I've been seeing how different I can make my vanilla yogurt every time I eat it. Here we have an example of three oreo cookies crushed up in my yogurt (I told you I've been mowing down on the sweets) and then I have fresh strawberries with mini chocolate chips and butterscotch chips (a half serving of each of the chips... so I was measuring...)

Last weekend I treated myself to a breakfast at my favorite cafe. I ordered something sweet but small and it was delicious. This is a cinnamon roll split in half and fried like french toast, covered in powdered sugar and bananas. Yup.

I did have good intentions... my basket at the grocery looked healthy enough.

But it was the exercise that kept me normal this week. I ate out too much and seriously, right now, I'm sitting here with the belly-ache part of a hangover because I had a couple vodka lemonades and a mudslide the size of my face last night. I seriously need to stop eating buffalo anything while drinking. It hurts coming out your nose. I know... another example of the bad example. But I have a lot going on.

Let's talk about the running this week. I'm counting last Sunday because, since I was sick, I had to skip Week 2 of my training (my extended training where I'd planned to do Week 1 twice, so I really didn't miss anything). Here's an overview of the week.

And here's the breakdown. Sunday I did two miles while still sort of sick. Took my handkerchief with me to blow my nose. I made surprisingly good time for feeling like garbage.

 

Wednesday's run was fun because a coworker decided to run with me! We had a good time and it was interesting running with someone else. It definitely made the hour go by faster and forced me to pace a little better than I normally do. We're planning to run again this coming Wednesday after work.

Thursday I participated in another 5k. This one markets itself as being a “Fast 5k” because it's all on a gradual decline. I was no faster than I normally am in a race. In fact, I was 18 seconds short of a personal record. I was totally beat afterward... slept well that night at least.

Saturday's run was the long one for the week; 6 miles. About 5 miles in the back of my knee started to get sore, but that went away with some good stretching afterward. Which comes to my intention to cross train. I think I'm going to do yoga at least one day a week on my non-running days. 

 

 

June is just being hard on me. I thought May was bad. But June has 4ish events at my job... the end of my first term of grad school (which ends today) and the start of my second term of grad school (which starts tomorrow). I'm not resting. I'm not relaxing. I'm taking stress to the internal most parts of me. And then I'm trying to choke it with alcohol. And dessert.

Thank god for running. Or we'd be having a terrible conversation.

Sorry my blog posts are straight and to the point here recently. Just an attempt to stay sane. And hopefully motivate people to do what I'm not doing.

Breasts vs. Half Marathon Training

If you're like me and fitness hasn't exactly been your thing for most of your life, you learn things every day that you didn't know before. The thing I'm learning now? Sports bras wear out. I just never thought of that type of thing, but they do. You wash them, you wear them, they stretch, they shrink back... it's tough on the elastic and eventually they just don't hold up to an hour straight of bouncing bust. And then your trapezius muscle starts to hurt on your right side and you're trying to run and force your shoulder blades together to ease the pain. Maybe that's just me...

So I finally broke down and bought a couple new sports bras, especially because my mediums were obviously too big. I think the strap under the boob area could actually be pulled down to my navel. Okay, I exaggerate...

Picked up a couple EXTRA SMALL sports bras and ran with one of them this morning. Definitely helped. I still really should double bag because despite the fact that a large quantity (emphasis on the tit) of my weight loss over the past year has come right off the FRONT, there's still that whole moving thing and gravity and yea... doesn't go well with the running.

And running is what it's all about now. Today actually should have been the day that I shared with you the 60 day results from ChaLEAN Extreme, but I'm now a week behind. Really, I'm only two workouts behind but I want to repeat the whole three workouts... and I'm going to have to be more realistic about how I do it. It's Half Marathon training time. Sacrifices must be made to get that one rest day a week.

I'll go through my week and share how I'm UP FREAKING FOUR POUNDS (it's nearly mother nature time, so I'm trying not to get too down on myself) and how I put in 13 miles this week.

Monday: MEMORIAL DAY!!! That means all kinds of memorial things but really for me all it meant was a day off from work to get my run on and get my homework done. Unfortunately, there wasn't so much emphasis on the homework, but at least the running was accomplished. Memorial Day was the Day 1 of Half Marathon training for my first ever Half Marathon on September 8^th!!! I'm pretty stoked and every day I'm so sure that I can do it. Running has done so much for my belief in myself.

I'm following the beginning Half Marathon training in my Half Marathon/Marathon Runner's World guide. The program is 10 weeks but I have 14 weeks until my race, so I'm doubling up on some of the weeks (this will also help just in case I get sick or if something happens that I can't fit in the proper length run). The first couple of weeks are easy to figure out and this week it goes: 2 mi, 4 mi, 2 mi, 5 mi LSD (long, slow distance).

That means Monday was 2 miles. Nailed it. 2 miles is pretty standard for me now... I go down the street a mile, turn around, and come back. I've also started using MapMyWalk (because I had already bought it and I see no use in buying MapMyRun since I can track running on the walking one...) to track my runs instead of Bridge to 10k. I decided this because 1) you don't put in a goal into MapMyWalk. You just go. And 2) it tells you your pace and your splits at every mile without having to look at the screen, which is helpful when you're trying to keep a certain pace (even if you suck at pacing, like me).

The cool thing about MapMy(Insert Exercise Here) is the data you get from it! And I'm kind of a data junkie! I love keeping track of where I ran, how fast I ran, what the weather was like... and this app will tell me what the elevation was (it bases calories off this information too) and it tells me how I did compared to other people who have ran on similar streets.

Back to Monday...

Tuesday and Wednesday:  To be frank, I ate like a pig.  I've been eating like a pig.  I can't eat enough lately which makes me do things like eat out and eat bad things because I run out of good things and because bad things are generally faster to prepare (i.e. open a bag).

Wednesday I met a friend for dinner (shout out to her, because I know she reads this!) and I went home with every intention of getting in some weight lifting.  I had so much homework on my brain that I couldn't get through the workout.  I stopped midway.  I've not done that in forever.  Of course, that's what the weight of a 15 and a 12 page paper (both due a week from today; one is now complete, one has not been started yet) will do to you.

Thursday:  Someone forgot to tell New Hampshire that it isn't Kentucky... because I went to my car to head to work and the air felt like a Kentucky morning.  And then by the time I got off from work, it was 90 degrees.  Last year, I didn't run in the month of July because, honestly, I run my best at 40-50 degrees.  What's changed from this year?  Oh, I can run in shorts and a tank top now and I don't think I look like a hippo going all Fantasia down the road.  Seismic activity in the thighs and belly.  No more.  I should know, I check myself out in the windows I pass.  Gotta be sure.

I wasn't going to let the temperature get me down, and since I couldn't run until after work anyway, the sun was lower in the sky so there was a ton of shade on my route.  I started at the Handsome Gentleman's house and ran my 4 miles; I took a little bottle of watered down Gatorade with me.  I'd ran this loop a few times before, but I was proud of that first mile.  The first .8 mi is all up hill and that hill is no joke.  

Cool is that that first portion of the run is actually a "course" on MapMyWalk, so I now have 8th place on that course!  Something tells me everyone else was going the OTHER way...

Came back afterward and made gigantic and tasty salads... so that was at least a better food choice.

Saturday:  Another 2 miles.  This time I wanted to switch it up because, like the day before, it was 90 degrees and I thought it'd be a good idea to run at noon (I had homework and if I didn't run then, it wasn't happening).  I took some water with me, which I never do for 2 miles, but I did it because of the heat.  I also tried to find places that had a lot of tree shade, which is why I decided to run the blocks around the cemetery.  It's very shady there.

 Not as fast as I would have liked, but again, 90 degrees.  My forearms were sweating.  

Sunday (Today):  Last night I spent some time out with a friend drinking alcohol, eating food (we both had salad... and split dessert... so it could be worse), and watching the Bruins beat the pants off some Penguins!  I got home after midnight but I wanted to get up and do my run.  I managed to get out of bed at 7:30, drank my protein shake, put my hair up, put one of my new sports bras on, and hit the street.  This route I've done several times because I really enjoy crossing the river here in Manchester.  It's really something.  I love water.

This is the run for the week that was supposed to be long, slow pace.  They equate it to being able to hold a conversation while running.  Of course, I don't run with anyone else (don't take that as an invitation to attack me, cuz I be kicking yo ass...) so I don't really want to be that kid who is mumbling to themselves to keep pace.  So I tried just going slower than I normally would.  When I hit the first mile, the app told me I had just run a 10:41 mile... and I was shooting for 12:00.  So... that didn't work.  Then, as you can see from the data above, the second mile wasn't much better.  Then I think I started to slow down a bit.  It was warm... it's supposed to be another 90 degree day today, but when I got out there it was 75 with a 100% cloudless sky.  That sun was warm.  I tried to get in as much shade as I could.  I did put sunscreen on, so there's that.  

I know this summer I'm going to have some hot sports bra tan lines.

So that's a total of 13 miles for the week.  Nailed it.  I did all four workouts.  I'm really trying to take this Half Marathon training one workout at a time.  That's why I love the data so much.  Each run is its own unique little snowflake... sometimes I go fast like I want to... other times I just get to enjoy the fact that I'm doing something fabulous for my body.  

I have no food recommendations this week.  I ate bad.  I'll admit it.  We people that seem to have it all together don't always have it all together.  I am learning though that if I do my homework here in my back bedroom instead of in the living room, watching television, I'm less likely to want to eat.  I'm also trying to limit the number of snacks I have around... but sometimes that can be bad.  If I have no little snacks, I reach for big ones...  big, bad ones.  Polar seltzer water is my savior.

What's going on this week?

Well, I'm repeating Week 1's Half Marathon training, so it'll be 2, 4, 2, 5 miles again.  I have a golf tournament to work for work on Wednesday.  I'd really like to do at least 2 ChaLEAN workouts this week (savings the final workout for the second phase for the beginning of next week and then I'll do some pics and stats on that before I start the third and final phase).  I have to turn in my papers at the end of the week.  This first term of Grad school is almost over and if I've only gained 3-4 pounds of water weight over it here at the end, I can say I've accomplished much.

So long as I can find the time like I did today, tune in next week to see how week 2 of the training went.  I hate that I can't post very often anymore, but sacrifices must be made in order to keep the most important things going in my life.  Splitting my time between work, running, homework, and the handsomest boyfriend ever is a challenge I'm willing to kick ass at.

Water WATER Everywhere

Before I get into too much... I GOT TO SEE 129 ON MY SCALE!!!!! For two whole days before I ate nothing but garbage and gained a bunch of fake weight...

This weekend I ran my very first race that was longer than a 5k. I just went crazy and skipped 10k and went straight for 12k! Honestly, it had to do with the fact that it was right before my half marathon training is scheduled to start and that I knew someone in the Rotary Club putting it on, so I got a $5 off coupon! Whoo!

Anyway, I'm coming off of another very stressful week and this week I didn't have as much resolve as I did the week before. I think that maybe I didn't buy enough groceries either, which always leads me to eat out. Tuesday I went with my handsome gentleman to his daughter's softball game and then to his softball game and we split some takeout. Wednesday I stopped and got a pizza on my way home. Then of course I had to eat on said pizza for the rest of the week. Got takeout on Thursday... you see what's happening here. I also didn't work out like I should. I ran 2 miles Tuesday morning and then didn't do anything since. I'm one workout behind in ChaLEAN. Yesterday and today I have really shaped up. Dropped 2 pounds of the 5 I ballooned with :P

So this 12k. I had been eating like crap and being generally lazy, so my energy and my endurance were pretty awful. This 7.465 mile race had every mile marked and it's sad that once I hit the first mile marker, I was ready to turn around. I felt like garbage. Mile 2 and 3 went by with some belly aches. My right ankle felt a little funny. I was just not in the mood, but I kept going. I got passed by a few people and that never feels good.

But once I hit mile 5, my energy started to pick up. When I turned the corner toward the 6 mile marker I noticed that they had hung a clock on a nearby stop sign. It was exactly 10:00 AM. The race started at 9:00 AM. NOT BAD! That really energized me. So I started passing a few of the people that I had watched their backs for a while. Finally I saw the 7 mile marker and it was a beautiful thing. The end of the race was on the high school track, so that was a nice, comfy rest for my knees. I crossed the finish line at 1:17:33 and I was 3^rd place in my age division. Weird though, they split my females down into 25-29 years old. The third place female overall was 25 years old, so that bumped me up to 3^rd in the F2529. A 28 year old beat me and then two 29 year olds were slower than me.

Something cool! To get your results for this race, you stand near this television screen that KNOWS your bib number is there... and it displays it on the screen! Amazing!!

Onto the title of this blog post: Water, water, everywhere...

You'd think we were running 100 miles on the surface of the sun for the amount of water that was around. The first water station was at mile 2, which is understandable because that's where it normally is on a 5k. Then, around mile 3, some old ladies thought it would be a good idea to set up their own little water station in their driveway, with gigantic plastic cups and a garden hose. I saw visions of every episode of Criminal Minds I've ever seen and would only take water from a table that had a “water station” sign next to it in the same style of the mile markers. Then a couple other people had water outside of their houses. The race was 7 ½ miles and there HAD to be 6-7 water stations. RIDICULOUS!!! You seriously don't need that much water. I could also tell that not a single person filling those GIGANTIC plastic cups had ever ran a mile in their life because they filled them to the brim... sort of asking me to get soaked... which felt good, sort of, because I was sweating enough to have a crusty, salty layer over my skin on the drive home.

Yesterday I tried to eat well. I went to the grocery and stocked up on tasty and healthy foods (and Ben & Jerry's) and this morning I did my second lifting workout for the week. Could definitely tell it had been a while.

This coming week is going to be action packed too... Gotta keep it all together.

I have one recipe to share and I created it this morning to keep me from going to my favorite cafe and eating out AGAIN this week. I made an individual serving of French Toast Casserole, which arose from me wanting the grocery to sell bread by the slice so I could make 2 slices of french toast and call it good...

You'll need:

1 egg

¼ c. almond milk (I used original, unsweetened today)

shake of salt

shake of cinnamon

drop of vanilla extract

1 wheat roll (I used the kaiser roll from the bakery section at the grocery)

Whisk together all of the ingredients before the bread in a bowl. Cut your roll up into squares and add to egg mixture, letting the bread soak up the ingredients.

Butter a small casserole dish and add the mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. I did mine for 23 minutes and it was firm. Probably would have liked it more at 20 minutes.

I had mine with a side of strawberries and a half tablespoon of powdered sugar. The casserole was 250 calories before the berries and sugar.

The cinnamon was great, but I bet I could do the same with peanut butter and bananas or something exciting like that!

Sorry these are so short nowadays, but I spend way too much time typing in my life now. Just finishing up week 7 of 11 of my first term of Grad school (which is driving me crazy and driving me to eat whole orders of cinnamon sticks from Domino's). I just need a few more hours in the days that already have a ton of hours in them.

What's goin' on.

You'll have to excuse the stream-of-consciousness feel that I anticipate this post having.  Normally I type up my posts in a word processor and then make sure it has some sort of semblance of topic throughout that is consistent.  Today I don't feel like it but I feel the need to post something.  Because I'm slipping.  And though the internet, completely public version of my woes might not be as therapeutic as maybe an all out spilling of guts, I need something as a reminder that I'm better than this.

I've mentioned the upcoming event that is very stressful at my job.  The same event that put 11 pounds on me last year.  Right now, after a weekend of detox, I've only gained 3.  I was up by 5 most of the week because of the lousy choices that I have made.  And if stress at work were the only thing going on with me, then maybe I'd be okay. 

So wonderful boyfriend, the one that is nice to me and eats vegetables and takes such good care of himself.  The person I've been with while I've lost the last 20 pounds I've lost... he broke up with me last week.  I'm devastated, but I won't lie and say I didn't see it coming.  But two weeks before big stressful job event?  Seriously? 

Then the stress of my breakup and the stress of the event converged in this massive thing at work where I flew off the handle, acted way way way inappropriately, formal reprimand.  Sent home for the day.  And I'm left with the feeling that my life, the one I've known since the start of the year... it's just all falling apart.

I can't afford the food I buy.  Honestly, I should be eating ramen noodles every night, but good-for-you food isn't always cheap.  Especially in New England.  Everything back home is about $1 cheaper... and on a cart full of groceries that adds up.  Everything's more expensive here.  But I love it here anyway.

I'd like to admit to what I've been eating this week.  I've gone to a Chinese restaurant.  I've gone to Wendy's twice.  I've gone to McDonalds for breakfast I think every day this week.  I've gone to Dunkin Donuts.  I hadn't gone to the grocery in nearly two weeks.  5 pounds gained.  And miserable stomach aches and acid reflux and overall fatigue.  You really are what you eat.

So Friday night, I went to the grocery.  I only put healthy items in my cart and when I got home I had a fridge full of good-for-you foods; fresh produce and lean protein and I felt good about it.  I did laundry.  I did my Jillian Michaels yoga dvd.  I relaxed.  And I enjoyed my me-time.  Something I never let myself enjoy because I'm always so worried about everyone else.

I haven't ran since Monday.  I went running through an apple orchard and got scratched by a weed with thorns and my scratches started bleeding.  Which of course sent a love letter to every rabid northeastern mosquito... so my left ankle has been swollen for nearly a week.  I was afraid to run on it.  I didn't want to make it worse.  It's about 97% better.  Still itches around my ankle bone and is just slightly puffy.  Probably helped all the sitting that I did this weekend and Friday night. 

So I'm trying.  But it's difficult.  It's more difficult than usual and I promised myself that I wouldn't let this stress impact my weight loss.  3 pounds I can deal with.  5 is too much.  Since my fridge is full of healthy stuff now, since I've surrounded myself in it, there's no excuses anymore.  The final test will be eating at the actual event.  I will be spending the weekend away from home, staying in a hotel, eating whatever is served at the event and then whatever we decide to grab after the work is over.  I'm contemplating taking some food with me, but there's really no good way to do that, except living off of sugary protein bars (which I do sometimes).

I just don't know. 

I try to remember that I've lost a total of around 64 pounds overall and no one did that for me.  No one strapped me down and fed me good things.  No one told me to exercise.  I did all that by myself.  If I can be selfish about one thing in my life, it's that.  And I really don't want to let one little thing set me back or push me off course for this thing that I accomplished all for me.

I've got a little project in mind.  I literally haven't been single since I was 18.  I've always either been talking to someone or been someone's girlfriend.  And though it's lonely not having someone, maybe it has been a little exhausting for a non-stop 9 years of worrying how someone else is doing and what they're thinking and what can I do to make them happy.

I'm going to create myself a little notebook.  I'm going to fill it with craft ideas.  Projects.  Things I've always wanted to do.  I was hanging out with one of my great new friends and she mentioned that she has never had a guy buy her a drink.  Like you're sitting there, minding your own business, and a guy offers to buy you a drink, not a guy that you're there on a date with.  And I realized that I've never had that either.  I want to go out there and find the things I've never experienced.  I don't want to go pick up someone in a bar... I'm just not that kind of girl nor do I want that kind of guy.  But having that happen is so timeless and normal.  I don't want to keep myself from maybe experiencing things like that.

I've got ballet, which has been on hiatus for the last couple of weeks.  I had to work late three weeks ago and then they postponed adult ballet while they got ready for the little girls' recital... so ballet is back on on Monday.  I've signed up for a kickball league, which starts July 12th.  Unfortunately I'm going to have to miss the first game because that's when my next 5k is.  I'm going to get out there and enjoy myself and meet new people and not sit here and feel sorry for myself.  Try to stay active.

I just needed to talk this through for some motivation.  Because right now... it's almost 10 AM and I still haven't taken a shower.  And that never happens to me.   

HUNGRY!

I feel like I have so many things I want to tell you.

I'm something like 42 days away from a pretty stressful weekend at work. Last year, this particular event put 11 pounds back on me over the course of the weeks leading up to it because I would drive screaming from the office and order cheese fries at restaurants that didn't actually have cheese fries on the menu, but they felt so bad for me that they made an exception.

The difference between last year's event and this year's is that this year: I can actually exercise! I'm not coming down off the Mono. The difference also is that I'm trying really, really hard NOT to make myself feel better with food. I'm finding it easier to make myself feel better with exercise (especially because I'm to the point where running no longer makes me think I'm going to pass out or throw up).

I read a couple places online that those who run for 4 hours a week are shown to burn more calories at rest than those that do not. Now I'm nowhere near 4 hours a week. I've just completed Week 7 of Couch to 5k and the past couple of workouts have been 35 minutes a piece. But I have noticed my appetite and my capacity for eating has changed greatly. I want more small meals. I eat less in a sitting. I'm full faster. But then I'm hungry again in a couple hours. Of course I've witnessed this phenomenon before watching muscular boyfriend chow down on bowls of cereal at random times during the day, but I've felt the need to be a little more stringent with myself. I attribute this to the mentality of the 3 meals a day, 2 snacks, don't eat anything after 8 PM... but I'm eating most of my food during the week by myself, so really, who cares when or how I eat it? It's my hot body, I'll eat when I want.

I was having my protein shake for “First Breakfast” (right after my shower) and then a yogurt or some fruit or something along those lines for “Second Breakfast” (10:00 AM). Now I'm finding that the protein shake just isn't enough in the early morning anymore. So I have it and some food for “First Breakfast”... yogurt for second breakfast (10:00 AM)... a piece of cheese for “Third Breakfast” (11:30 AM). You get the idea. Then lunch (12:30 PM). Then afternoon snack (between 2:00 and 3:30 PM). Then dinner (between 6:00 PM and 7:30 PM). Then evening snack (10:00 PM). I always want more to eat in the morning. It's funny considering I have only been eating breakfast for the past couple of years.

You'll be happy to hear that where last week I thought I might have broken through the plateau... I still think that's true. Monday morning weigh in was the lowest I've ever been (151.8 lbs) and despite the need for more food I've been fairly consistent stepping on the scale in the morning. And Monday was the first time during my run that I managed to travel an entire 5k! Nearly did it again on Thursday. Did it again on Saturday. Did it again this morning.

I did something this week that I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to do. I continued to run with a cold. Actually, I had a cold when I hit that first full 5k. Uphill. After that, my sinuses felt like they were absolutely on fire. And they were open. I wasn't full blow sick. I think it was one of those colds that starts out as allergies, but then you don't get everything cleared up so then it's in your chest and you sound a lot like a 80 year old smoker? Anyone? Anyway, I asked a coworker that also runs if it's ill-advised to run while sick. He was of the opinion that if you're doing it and you're pushing yourself, it can make you feel better and clear out your sinuses. Although, he did slip in the caveat that if you're in the middle of it and something happens to alert you that you don't have the energy for what you're doing, then you should probably stop.

So I did a great job running this week when you think about the fact that I was sick. I took a handkerchief on my run and I stopped my GPS for a few seconds to blow my nose. I've also been really trying to work on technique because as the running becomes more intense and more frequent, I am coming down with side stitches and shoulder pain. But then on Saturday's run at 3.48 miles (I accidentally paused the app again, but I didn't stop running...) I only got the side stitches and shoulder pain after sprinting a little bit because I had some not-so-nonchalant, disgusting men ogling me. You might think I'm exaggerating (as I sometimes do that), but you don't look over your shoulder. Then do it again. Then tap your buddy's shoulder. Then you both look over. Then forward. Then over. Then STOP and stare. No. Not very polite. So I ran past them.

I googled how to prevent side stitches. That's one reason why I didn't want to play sports as a kid... running always gave me stitches. I learned that it's actually your internal organs jostling up against one another that makes it sore. And it always happens on the right side because that's where the majority of your abdominal organs are kept (I know this to be true because of the numerous time I've viewed my liver on ultrasound). So you're supposed to breathe full breaths to keep your diaphram open, keeping your organs from hitting each other. Also, you're supposed to exhale when your left foot hits the ground.

All that makes me think of is rubbing my head and patting my tummy. And running. All at the same time.

I figured it would be difficult for a right handed person, but I tried leading with the left side and that really helped. I also tried to keep my pace slower. Going downhill can cause them too because you're bouncing a little more than uphill because you're trying not to fall down the hill.

I've learned a lot this week. Also learned that doubling up on the sports bras is awesome. Also learned that all of my sports bras are now too big. When you've worn at least a “large” everything since you started wearing bras, it's hard to imagine needing something smaller. Yesterday I picked up 2 mediums. My breasts said thank you... they're also kind of enjoying spending a little more time together. They grew up together afterall. Old friends.

I got to do something else fun this week... I went to the Mall and played dress up. Bought a couple dresses, even though I really can't afford it. But it's nice to have a couple things that aren't way too big. I bought a size 8 dress. EIGHT. All my pants are 10 now and I really think I'm down to 8 in dress pants, but again, clothes cost money. It's pesky. Running is free.

I mentioned before that I was sick and I do find myself generally making excuses when I'm sick. Ohhh, I feel so bad... I really want to eat something that will make me feel good. Instead of laying on the couch, I kept up with my running. Instead of eating everything I wanted, I gave myself 24 hours. I had french fries for lunch on Wednesday (I tracked it. When all you have are french fries, it's surprisingly low in calories as compared to a combo). So I epic failed the 21 day no junk food challenge after about 4 days. And then it snowballed from there. You know. One trip to Arby's and one Keebler cookie. Yea. I'm an animal. Sarcasm.

I guess I'll call for a do-over when I'm well. I felt like last week was pretty awful as far as work stress and the inability to do anything fun when I got home for lack of energy. And I tried my best to at least keep my eating modest. I ordered a kid's meal at Arby's while at the mall, trying on smaller clothes for fun.

I did make one recipe worth sharing, I think...

You all know how much I love pictures of food. Well, my little brother was having one of those magazine fundraisers and usually, I have nothing to get because I already have subscriptions to WW mag and Cooking Light which are really the only ones I read on a regular basis. BUT... Eating Well has been attracting me and I saw it on the list, so I went for it. Got my first issue and saw a Potato and Chickpea Hash and I was interested.

But I can't just follow a recipe. That'd be... practical! So instead of using potatoes I used Sweet Potato and I enjoyed it very much. I actually cooked it at work. Halved the recipe in a way, so this makes 2 servings at 250 calories each. I call it “Sweet Potato Hash and Eggs.”

1 medium-large sweet potato, grated on a box grater

½ c diced onion

2 c baby spinach, chopped

½ can chickpeas, rinsed and drained

½ a zucchini, diced

2 eggs

Combine potato, onion and spinach in a bowl to mix well, then pour mixture into a hot pan, patting it down into a patty and letting it cook for 4-5 minutes. Pour in the chickpeas and the zucchini, mixing together and breaking up the potato that cooked together. Lastly, make 2 wells in the mixture for your eggs to cook in. Cook your eggs until you like them and BOOM. Done.

I ended up flipping my eggs because 1, I didn't want my yolks to overcook because I like runny yolks and 2, because I DON'T like runny whites. Looks like snot. Can't hack that.

I'm pleased with what I've learned this week. I've got less than 2 weeks until my first 5k. I finished my 50,000 IU of Vitamin D regimen this weekend. Have to go get blood drawn to check that. Also pleased that I didn't stay for an event at work on Tuesday that had chocolate cake. I had no chocolate cake. Fight the poundage.