My First Half Marathon

I would like to tell you everything.

I would tell you everything, but there’s not enough space on the internet to put it all down here. Every little thing that’s happened to me since the last time that I made time to post on the blog. It’s all overwhelming. Instead I’ll offer a break down… a stream of consciousness. A list of phrases. And when I’m through we will all be on the same page, my skin shed to the floor, and we can start again. You’ll know where I am.

I last posted on June 16^th.

9 year old with a football.

Broken finger.

Two classes vs. summer sun.

Bikini.

6 miles.

Tan.

Fourth of July.

Mountains.

Fish.

Starlight.

Heartbreak.

Leaving me.

Pull back.

Leaving me.

Pull back.

8 miles.

Beer.

Pancakes. Nachos. Beer. Burgers. Beer.

Beer.

129. 131. 133. 135.

Going out.

Midterm.

6 weeks until Half Marathon.

Two classes vs. heartbreak

Dancing partner. Movies. Bowling. Curiosity.

Two classes vs. training runs

10 miles.

Finger splint removed. Still can’t make a fist.

Tan line. Tan lines. No tan lines.

Electric Run.

Sore knees. Lethargy.

2 miles. 5 miles. 2 miles.

Heartbreak.

Pull back.

Hope.

Hate.

Hurt.

End of term. One A. One Incomplete.

12 pages due October 10.

5 line dances in a row.

Confusion.

Numbness.

Beer.

Cleaning house. It’s okay to be alone.

Wake up at 6:00 AM.

Half Marathon.

13.1 miles.

Hope.

I ran my first Half Marathon on Sunday.

I had these dreams of coming home and writing all about it, picking out every little detail for you. Everything I felt. But you don’t realize until you stop running, until you slow down and hit a wall of smiling friends at the end of the line, you let your muscles rest and be sore. You don’t realize how tired you really are. Let’s start at the beginning.

In the 6 weeks leading up to the Half Marathon, I sketched out my training plan up on my fun, glass, Ikea white board. For those who are interested in doing a Half and don’t have anyone to train you, I used the Runner’s World Big Book of Marathon/Half Marathon training. The program really did get me up to the mileage, and it did it even though I pretty much blew off every long run but one of the 10 milers. I doubled up on some weeks just in case I got sick… but for the most part I followed it blindly.

So on my white board, I’d put a blue star over the runs that I did (total of about 14 weeks of training, by the way, so this was at the end). I marked through in red what I didn’t do. Here’s what it looks like now…

I wasn’t eating properly to support my workouts. I have been going out to get my mind off of all of the stress with my relationships and with school… with my work and with my relationships. I’d go out and get things and though my quantity wasn’t terrible (never overfull, always had enough leftovers for 1-2 meals afterward) I still felt sluggish. Perks were: No soda. No fast food.

August 30^th marked my one year anniversary of making goal. Between the eating poorly and the Half Marathon muscle growth, I’m still well under the 145 lb goal, but I’ve been teetering around 135 instead of down toward 130. I’m trying to accept that fact. My clothes all still fit.

Training finished. I made sure to run the last workouts of the week leading up to Sunday’s race. One two miler, one five, and another two. Then I took two days of rest (plus country line dancing and pushups). Went to sleep at 11 PM the night before the race to be up by 6 AM.

I didn’t shower. I had everything already packed up that I needed. Shoes. Spare socks. Two Island Boosts (energy gel). Water belt with Gatorade/water mix. Headphones. Long sleeve. Clothes for post race, if needed. The kitchen sink. A giraffe.

A friend of mine was volunteering for the race, so I picked him up on my way up to Concord, NH. That meant I had to arrive at 7 for him to be there on time. The race started at 9 AM.

I took my time getting ready. Put some friction aid on the side of my toes before slipping on my toe socks. Laced up my shoes. Left my jacket on until the last possible minute, but luckily the sun started to come out (it’s not summer anymore here in New Hampshire, folks). 

Stood around and chatted with people. I knew the organization that was putting the race on, so I knew a lot of the people there. So many hadn’t seen me for a year and were amazed at how I looked after all that training and all that running. It felt really good to be reminded of what I’d accomplished. A lot of the race tips for someone’s first Half Marathon is that you do a race that’s been established for a while and is popular because they’re going to be the ones that know how to keep you hydrated and take care of you. This was the second year of this Half and I was 100% accommodated. It was a great experience. I much preferred knowing tons of people to having a super crowded race.

Half hour left to go. I did a quick little jog around the park where the starting line was. Finished my jog at the porta-potties. Did some upper body stretches. Got my water belt on. Gave my friend my keys. Got my iPhone ready with MapMyWalk and music. I was ready to go.

I started about ¾ of the way back from the start line and watched as I kept up with the group around the first corner.

It’s interesting, running in New Hampshire. There’s never really a moment where you’re not going uphill or downhill. Everything is at least a gradual of each. So all of my training runs had plenty of hills, as did this course.

I remember every mile and yet I don’t. I don’t because I didn’t get a chance to drive or run/walk the course before the day of the race, so most of the time I had no idea where I was. The race was very well marked and I knew a bunch of the people out volunteering to hold back traffic, so it was so nice and motivating to get a kind word and a cheer as I moved forward.

Between miles 3 and 4

I started off fairly quickly. Unlike my training runs, my 3^rd and 4^th miles were not terrible at all. The “Mile 1” marker was a blessing. “Mile 2” a laugh, because very close by was a sign that read “You are not almost there.” Laughed with a couple that was running together, who I later passed and never saw again. “Mile 3” to “Mile 6” are sort of a blur. I did have my headphones (one in my ear, one tucked under the shoulder of my sports bra, so I could hear the other runners and traffic) in but I can’t remember too much of what was playing. I had it going for my pace and to hear when I was close to a mile marker.

“Mile 7” and “Mile 8” brought with it the craziest lower abdominal distress known to man. Wow. You really don’t know what bouncing up and down for an hour and a half can do to your organs. I didn’t get a single side stitch the entire race though… and I did plenty of upper body warm-ups, so the only part of me that felt this race were my heart and my legs.

“Mile 9” and “Mile 10” were exciting. I’d only ever ran 10 miles before this, so every step past the “Mile 10” mark were steps to glory and catching a new horizon with every footfall. Three miles of nothing but milestone.

“Mile 11” saw the pain. My right hamstring all the way up to my right butt cheek was sore. I started massaging my butt while I ran/walked. The walking became more frequent at this point, but it was the case also for the folks that were with me for most of the race.

12.5 Miles

“Mile 12” was heroic. One more mile left to go and I still hadn’t seen my friend at his second post. I knew I’d have someone soon cheering me on. Saw him at the 12.5 mile… the folks I ran with for most of the race were about 2 minutes in front of me. There were people about 2 minutes behind me. It was all me, just like the training and just like getting there and believing I could do it. I did this thing. No one made me, no one helped me (except for that same friend at the 12.5 mile mark took time to run a few of my mid-week medium length runs with me which I am so thankful for).

I knew Charles Street was my last turn. And when I saw that street sign my heart leapt. A slight downhill. And I could see the “13 Mile” marker up ahead. I stopped to walk a little… because I wanted that last .1 mile to be all running. And it was.

My goal for this first Half Marathon was two-fold. Don’t be last. Finish in 2 hours and 30 minutes. I had checked the time when I was starting to slow down and I had already decided that 2 hours, 35 minutes would have been okay…

But once that “13 Mile” mark was right there next to me and I picked up all the strength I had left to run the rest of the race, I entered White Park again, running now on the grass approaching the finish line. And I watched the grass, trying not to fall… and I look up. And I saw 2:28:00 on the clock and I was so happy. Both goals achieved.

I saw my handsome gentleman, still so important to me despite our recent issues and the recent heartbreak and anger/frustration/love. He got this picture of me crossing the finish line. And he walked up to hug me, but I couldn’t stop moving. My legs were insane.

Finish Line

I tried to stretch. I was too excited. I had my medal in one hand, a water bottle in the other. A couple more friends were there at the finish line and I just wanted to blurt out everything I was feeling and everything I saw and experienced.

13.1 miles of big hills…

Trees

Smiles

Cramps

Water

Whispering to myself

Mouthing song lyrics

Strength

Thinking

Loving

Running

Finally I was able to come down from the high. I gave the handsome gentleman the hug he was looking for, but all salty and disgusting. I was congratulated by so many. I checked my results.

Gun Time: 2:28:16

Net Time: 2:28:06

Pace: 11:16

76 out of 98 runners

8 out of 9 in F2029 Division

Looking ahead there’s so much I want to do.

I want to get back on track eating. I want to drink less and really try to focus to make sure I can get back down to 130 or so. I know it’s only 5 pounds… but I worked really hard to get 87 of them off. I don’t want to have to do that again.

Next up on the fitness train, when my legs finally recover (they’re still very “aware” of themselves) is Rushfit. Running a couple days a week. Trying to find that upper body strength that I had with ChaLean that sort of softened up with constant lower body movement. I still can’t make a fist with my broken finger side (left) so it’ll be challenging. I can’t wait to get started.

This coming Saturday, there’ll be a tattoo commemorating the whole experience of the Half Marathon.

And hopefully, next week and each week after will yield a new blog post as I try to put myself back together.

Even the strong ones struggle.

We question what’s right and what we’re doing.

If life were easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.

Realistic Expectations

What have I learned over these past couple of weeks of inactivity on the blog? That weight lifting and training for a half marathon (while holding a full time job and being a full time graduate student) are not things that can go together. ChaLEAN Extreme is on hiatus until the Half Marathon is over.

What does that mean? Katie, you should seriously cross train because it will make you a better runner.

I know. But I'm seriously tired right now. I'll figure something out.

I caught a cold two weeks ago and so I took 6 days off of running... and then the cold moved into my chest and I kind of still... kept running. I'm a really bad example... or a really great example of what NOT to do. I'm feeling much better though. While I'm running I feel fantastic. Then I stop running and I'll cough for a little bit, but overall improvement once I get up out of bed and moving.

I've been terrible as far as feeding myself is concerned. I've been going mad on the carbs... eating sandwiches (which I never do) and eating way too many sweets. The only thing that has kept me in these size 4 Skinny Jeans is the running. I swear to you. I've been a bad, bad girl. I've better intentions coming up and I've been pretty good today. When I sleep in (and sleep is something I've been lacking here recently) my first breakfast gets screwed up... and each meal afterward gets screwed up. If only I lived in a vacuum.

Some things I ate this week:

Fun with yogurt. I've been seeing how different I can make my vanilla yogurt every time I eat it. Here we have an example of three oreo cookies crushed up in my yogurt (I told you I've been mowing down on the sweets) and then I have fresh strawberries with mini chocolate chips and butterscotch chips (a half serving of each of the chips... so I was measuring...)

Last weekend I treated myself to a breakfast at my favorite cafe. I ordered something sweet but small and it was delicious. This is a cinnamon roll split in half and fried like french toast, covered in powdered sugar and bananas. Yup.

I did have good intentions... my basket at the grocery looked healthy enough.

But it was the exercise that kept me normal this week. I ate out too much and seriously, right now, I'm sitting here with the belly-ache part of a hangover because I had a couple vodka lemonades and a mudslide the size of my face last night. I seriously need to stop eating buffalo anything while drinking. It hurts coming out your nose. I know... another example of the bad example. But I have a lot going on.

Let's talk about the running this week. I'm counting last Sunday because, since I was sick, I had to skip Week 2 of my training (my extended training where I'd planned to do Week 1 twice, so I really didn't miss anything). Here's an overview of the week.

And here's the breakdown. Sunday I did two miles while still sort of sick. Took my handkerchief with me to blow my nose. I made surprisingly good time for feeling like garbage.

 

Wednesday's run was fun because a coworker decided to run with me! We had a good time and it was interesting running with someone else. It definitely made the hour go by faster and forced me to pace a little better than I normally do. We're planning to run again this coming Wednesday after work.

Thursday I participated in another 5k. This one markets itself as being a “Fast 5k” because it's all on a gradual decline. I was no faster than I normally am in a race. In fact, I was 18 seconds short of a personal record. I was totally beat afterward... slept well that night at least.

Saturday's run was the long one for the week; 6 miles. About 5 miles in the back of my knee started to get sore, but that went away with some good stretching afterward. Which comes to my intention to cross train. I think I'm going to do yoga at least one day a week on my non-running days. 

 

 

June is just being hard on me. I thought May was bad. But June has 4ish events at my job... the end of my first term of grad school (which ends today) and the start of my second term of grad school (which starts tomorrow). I'm not resting. I'm not relaxing. I'm taking stress to the internal most parts of me. And then I'm trying to choke it with alcohol. And dessert.

Thank god for running. Or we'd be having a terrible conversation.

Sorry my blog posts are straight and to the point here recently. Just an attempt to stay sane. And hopefully motivate people to do what I'm not doing.

Breasts vs. Half Marathon Training

If you're like me and fitness hasn't exactly been your thing for most of your life, you learn things every day that you didn't know before. The thing I'm learning now? Sports bras wear out. I just never thought of that type of thing, but they do. You wash them, you wear them, they stretch, they shrink back... it's tough on the elastic and eventually they just don't hold up to an hour straight of bouncing bust. And then your trapezius muscle starts to hurt on your right side and you're trying to run and force your shoulder blades together to ease the pain. Maybe that's just me...

So I finally broke down and bought a couple new sports bras, especially because my mediums were obviously too big. I think the strap under the boob area could actually be pulled down to my navel. Okay, I exaggerate...

Picked up a couple EXTRA SMALL sports bras and ran with one of them this morning. Definitely helped. I still really should double bag because despite the fact that a large quantity (emphasis on the tit) of my weight loss over the past year has come right off the FRONT, there's still that whole moving thing and gravity and yea... doesn't go well with the running.

And running is what it's all about now. Today actually should have been the day that I shared with you the 60 day results from ChaLEAN Extreme, but I'm now a week behind. Really, I'm only two workouts behind but I want to repeat the whole three workouts... and I'm going to have to be more realistic about how I do it. It's Half Marathon training time. Sacrifices must be made to get that one rest day a week.

I'll go through my week and share how I'm UP FREAKING FOUR POUNDS (it's nearly mother nature time, so I'm trying not to get too down on myself) and how I put in 13 miles this week.

Monday: MEMORIAL DAY!!! That means all kinds of memorial things but really for me all it meant was a day off from work to get my run on and get my homework done. Unfortunately, there wasn't so much emphasis on the homework, but at least the running was accomplished. Memorial Day was the Day 1 of Half Marathon training for my first ever Half Marathon on September 8^th!!! I'm pretty stoked and every day I'm so sure that I can do it. Running has done so much for my belief in myself.

I'm following the beginning Half Marathon training in my Half Marathon/Marathon Runner's World guide. The program is 10 weeks but I have 14 weeks until my race, so I'm doubling up on some of the weeks (this will also help just in case I get sick or if something happens that I can't fit in the proper length run). The first couple of weeks are easy to figure out and this week it goes: 2 mi, 4 mi, 2 mi, 5 mi LSD (long, slow distance).

That means Monday was 2 miles. Nailed it. 2 miles is pretty standard for me now... I go down the street a mile, turn around, and come back. I've also started using MapMyWalk (because I had already bought it and I see no use in buying MapMyRun since I can track running on the walking one...) to track my runs instead of Bridge to 10k. I decided this because 1) you don't put in a goal into MapMyWalk. You just go. And 2) it tells you your pace and your splits at every mile without having to look at the screen, which is helpful when you're trying to keep a certain pace (even if you suck at pacing, like me).

The cool thing about MapMy(Insert Exercise Here) is the data you get from it! And I'm kind of a data junkie! I love keeping track of where I ran, how fast I ran, what the weather was like... and this app will tell me what the elevation was (it bases calories off this information too) and it tells me how I did compared to other people who have ran on similar streets.

Back to Monday...

Tuesday and Wednesday:  To be frank, I ate like a pig.  I've been eating like a pig.  I can't eat enough lately which makes me do things like eat out and eat bad things because I run out of good things and because bad things are generally faster to prepare (i.e. open a bag).

Wednesday I met a friend for dinner (shout out to her, because I know she reads this!) and I went home with every intention of getting in some weight lifting.  I had so much homework on my brain that I couldn't get through the workout.  I stopped midway.  I've not done that in forever.  Of course, that's what the weight of a 15 and a 12 page paper (both due a week from today; one is now complete, one has not been started yet) will do to you.

Thursday:  Someone forgot to tell New Hampshire that it isn't Kentucky... because I went to my car to head to work and the air felt like a Kentucky morning.  And then by the time I got off from work, it was 90 degrees.  Last year, I didn't run in the month of July because, honestly, I run my best at 40-50 degrees.  What's changed from this year?  Oh, I can run in shorts and a tank top now and I don't think I look like a hippo going all Fantasia down the road.  Seismic activity in the thighs and belly.  No more.  I should know, I check myself out in the windows I pass.  Gotta be sure.

I wasn't going to let the temperature get me down, and since I couldn't run until after work anyway, the sun was lower in the sky so there was a ton of shade on my route.  I started at the Handsome Gentleman's house and ran my 4 miles; I took a little bottle of watered down Gatorade with me.  I'd ran this loop a few times before, but I was proud of that first mile.  The first .8 mi is all up hill and that hill is no joke.  

Cool is that that first portion of the run is actually a "course" on MapMyWalk, so I now have 8th place on that course!  Something tells me everyone else was going the OTHER way...

Came back afterward and made gigantic and tasty salads... so that was at least a better food choice.

Saturday:  Another 2 miles.  This time I wanted to switch it up because, like the day before, it was 90 degrees and I thought it'd be a good idea to run at noon (I had homework and if I didn't run then, it wasn't happening).  I took some water with me, which I never do for 2 miles, but I did it because of the heat.  I also tried to find places that had a lot of tree shade, which is why I decided to run the blocks around the cemetery.  It's very shady there.

 Not as fast as I would have liked, but again, 90 degrees.  My forearms were sweating.  

Sunday (Today):  Last night I spent some time out with a friend drinking alcohol, eating food (we both had salad... and split dessert... so it could be worse), and watching the Bruins beat the pants off some Penguins!  I got home after midnight but I wanted to get up and do my run.  I managed to get out of bed at 7:30, drank my protein shake, put my hair up, put one of my new sports bras on, and hit the street.  This route I've done several times because I really enjoy crossing the river here in Manchester.  It's really something.  I love water.

This is the run for the week that was supposed to be long, slow pace.  They equate it to being able to hold a conversation while running.  Of course, I don't run with anyone else (don't take that as an invitation to attack me, cuz I be kicking yo ass...) so I don't really want to be that kid who is mumbling to themselves to keep pace.  So I tried just going slower than I normally would.  When I hit the first mile, the app told me I had just run a 10:41 mile... and I was shooting for 12:00.  So... that didn't work.  Then, as you can see from the data above, the second mile wasn't much better.  Then I think I started to slow down a bit.  It was warm... it's supposed to be another 90 degree day today, but when I got out there it was 75 with a 100% cloudless sky.  That sun was warm.  I tried to get in as much shade as I could.  I did put sunscreen on, so there's that.  

I know this summer I'm going to have some hot sports bra tan lines.

So that's a total of 13 miles for the week.  Nailed it.  I did all four workouts.  I'm really trying to take this Half Marathon training one workout at a time.  That's why I love the data so much.  Each run is its own unique little snowflake... sometimes I go fast like I want to... other times I just get to enjoy the fact that I'm doing something fabulous for my body.  

I have no food recommendations this week.  I ate bad.  I'll admit it.  We people that seem to have it all together don't always have it all together.  I am learning though that if I do my homework here in my back bedroom instead of in the living room, watching television, I'm less likely to want to eat.  I'm also trying to limit the number of snacks I have around... but sometimes that can be bad.  If I have no little snacks, I reach for big ones...  big, bad ones.  Polar seltzer water is my savior.

What's going on this week?

Well, I'm repeating Week 1's Half Marathon training, so it'll be 2, 4, 2, 5 miles again.  I have a golf tournament to work for work on Wednesday.  I'd really like to do at least 2 ChaLEAN workouts this week (savings the final workout for the second phase for the beginning of next week and then I'll do some pics and stats on that before I start the third and final phase).  I have to turn in my papers at the end of the week.  This first term of Grad school is almost over and if I've only gained 3-4 pounds of water weight over it here at the end, I can say I've accomplished much.

So long as I can find the time like I did today, tune in next week to see how week 2 of the training went.  I hate that I can't post very often anymore, but sacrifices must be made in order to keep the most important things going in my life.  Splitting my time between work, running, homework, and the handsomest boyfriend ever is a challenge I'm willing to kick ass at.

Water WATER Everywhere

Before I get into too much... I GOT TO SEE 129 ON MY SCALE!!!!! For two whole days before I ate nothing but garbage and gained a bunch of fake weight...

This weekend I ran my very first race that was longer than a 5k. I just went crazy and skipped 10k and went straight for 12k! Honestly, it had to do with the fact that it was right before my half marathon training is scheduled to start and that I knew someone in the Rotary Club putting it on, so I got a $5 off coupon! Whoo!

Anyway, I'm coming off of another very stressful week and this week I didn't have as much resolve as I did the week before. I think that maybe I didn't buy enough groceries either, which always leads me to eat out. Tuesday I went with my handsome gentleman to his daughter's softball game and then to his softball game and we split some takeout. Wednesday I stopped and got a pizza on my way home. Then of course I had to eat on said pizza for the rest of the week. Got takeout on Thursday... you see what's happening here. I also didn't work out like I should. I ran 2 miles Tuesday morning and then didn't do anything since. I'm one workout behind in ChaLEAN. Yesterday and today I have really shaped up. Dropped 2 pounds of the 5 I ballooned with :P

So this 12k. I had been eating like crap and being generally lazy, so my energy and my endurance were pretty awful. This 7.465 mile race had every mile marked and it's sad that once I hit the first mile marker, I was ready to turn around. I felt like garbage. Mile 2 and 3 went by with some belly aches. My right ankle felt a little funny. I was just not in the mood, but I kept going. I got passed by a few people and that never feels good.

But once I hit mile 5, my energy started to pick up. When I turned the corner toward the 6 mile marker I noticed that they had hung a clock on a nearby stop sign. It was exactly 10:00 AM. The race started at 9:00 AM. NOT BAD! That really energized me. So I started passing a few of the people that I had watched their backs for a while. Finally I saw the 7 mile marker and it was a beautiful thing. The end of the race was on the high school track, so that was a nice, comfy rest for my knees. I crossed the finish line at 1:17:33 and I was 3^rd place in my age division. Weird though, they split my females down into 25-29 years old. The third place female overall was 25 years old, so that bumped me up to 3^rd in the F2529. A 28 year old beat me and then two 29 year olds were slower than me.

Something cool! To get your results for this race, you stand near this television screen that KNOWS your bib number is there... and it displays it on the screen! Amazing!!

Onto the title of this blog post: Water, water, everywhere...

You'd think we were running 100 miles on the surface of the sun for the amount of water that was around. The first water station was at mile 2, which is understandable because that's where it normally is on a 5k. Then, around mile 3, some old ladies thought it would be a good idea to set up their own little water station in their driveway, with gigantic plastic cups and a garden hose. I saw visions of every episode of Criminal Minds I've ever seen and would only take water from a table that had a “water station” sign next to it in the same style of the mile markers. Then a couple other people had water outside of their houses. The race was 7 ½ miles and there HAD to be 6-7 water stations. RIDICULOUS!!! You seriously don't need that much water. I could also tell that not a single person filling those GIGANTIC plastic cups had ever ran a mile in their life because they filled them to the brim... sort of asking me to get soaked... which felt good, sort of, because I was sweating enough to have a crusty, salty layer over my skin on the drive home.

Yesterday I tried to eat well. I went to the grocery and stocked up on tasty and healthy foods (and Ben & Jerry's) and this morning I did my second lifting workout for the week. Could definitely tell it had been a while.

This coming week is going to be action packed too... Gotta keep it all together.

I have one recipe to share and I created it this morning to keep me from going to my favorite cafe and eating out AGAIN this week. I made an individual serving of French Toast Casserole, which arose from me wanting the grocery to sell bread by the slice so I could make 2 slices of french toast and call it good...

You'll need:

1 egg

¼ c. almond milk (I used original, unsweetened today)

shake of salt

shake of cinnamon

drop of vanilla extract

1 wheat roll (I used the kaiser roll from the bakery section at the grocery)

Whisk together all of the ingredients before the bread in a bowl. Cut your roll up into squares and add to egg mixture, letting the bread soak up the ingredients.

Butter a small casserole dish and add the mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. I did mine for 23 minutes and it was firm. Probably would have liked it more at 20 minutes.

I had mine with a side of strawberries and a half tablespoon of powdered sugar. The casserole was 250 calories before the berries and sugar.

The cinnamon was great, but I bet I could do the same with peanut butter and bananas or something exciting like that!

Sorry these are so short nowadays, but I spend way too much time typing in my life now. Just finishing up week 7 of 11 of my first term of Grad school (which is driving me crazy and driving me to eat whole orders of cinnamon sticks from Domino's). I just need a few more hours in the days that already have a ton of hours in them.

Mother's Day

There are no 1980's faded photographs of us together because we couldn't exist at the same time. Sometimes, growing up and in my thoughts now, I feel powerful, like infant me had the power to suck the life right out of her, never to speak. And I see how everyone loved her and how I don't. It's true. I can't love my mom. Mom. Mother. Words foreign to lips that never had to scream them, never had to write them. Elementary school me found it redundant and unnecessary to make tissue paper roses in the week leading up to Mother's Day. “Make them for your grandma,” my teacher would suggest when I refused to participate in mandatory arts and crafts. Only someone with a mother would say that. You don't make Valentines for someone else's lover. You can't love someone you've never known.

Every year this particular week builds up a stuffy blanket of stress over me, despite myself. I let so many of my dates go this year. I let my mother's death date glide past me in the excitement of my own birthday, where a handsome gentleman whisked me away to snowy mountains and champagne and jacuzzi tubs. I let my divorce date go past me this year with absolutely no problem. I think I'm long since over that. I've accepted that failing at some things is okay. But unlike when people are bummed on Valentine's Day when they don't have a date, it's a little different on Mother's Day for me. There are two kinds of mothers... the mother you have and the mother you are... and I have neither of those. And the likelihood that I'll have the latter type slowly slips away from me every year. And there's a panic in me over it. And then panic turns to acceptance. And then panic again. And acceptance. Circular and full of fear.

Now that I'm skinny, I feel I look so much more like my dad. It's about time. Resembling someone so dear to everyone else but you gets old fast. Young

Katie got snippy and disrespectful when her grandfather accidentally called her Sue. I could be losing the resemblance too because I'm now over 3 years older than she ever was. I've aged past her face to everyone except the guy checking ID at the door of the bar.

This stress has caused a mighty damaging week for me. Monday I spent 5 hours on homework only to be completely devastated when my professor cut my throat over it. I didn't work out Monday night because I just needed another rest day. I'm starting to need two days off now that I'm lifting heavier. Soon, when the Half Marathon training starts, I'm going to need to lift less and run more. Tuesday I started the Push Phase of ChaLEAN Extreme.

I'm really liking this phase. I now use nothing under 7 pounds and I've used as much as 14.5 on some things... which creates a collective 29 pounds when doing squats and other lower body stuff that I feel fairly strong with. I can't quite do 12 pounds with biceps; I tried and it was just a little too heavy.

Wednesday I ran during lunch. I felt like I hadn't run in a million years, even though it had just been a few days since the obstacle race. I had dance class Wednesday night too, and I sat in the parking lot beforehand, scribbling down a literary analysis paper. I got a 100% on the paper. That helped a little.

Thursday night, like most Thursday nights, I spent with my handsome gentleman and I did the second workout of the Push Phase. Friday my sore hamstrings begged a rest day. Being sore is a delicious thing. Right now my chest is sore. Saturday was the third workout and it had a lot of chest and back. The handsome gentleman's son played downstairs while I lifted weights. He tried doing some of the moves with me. And while I laid on the floor, lifting a 12 pound dumbell over my head and extending it behind me in a long arm extension, he laid a couple feet to my left, doing the same with a large dinosaur. That whole experience was touching and nice; I like knowing that the kiddos don't mind my being around.

Outside of fitness, outside of stressful school, my job this week has been toiling. Frustrations. So when I got a 130.5 on the scale and that's as low as it got on period week I wasn't entirely surprised, because of all the stress, but I won't lie and say I wasn't disappointed. I just want 129.9... I want to see that on my scale. But as long as I'm remaining the same, I can't be picky. After all, I'm lifting heavier weights than I ever have. I'm not going to lose any more weight...

Today I got in one more run... only ran twice this week which has me a little worried about my 12k on Saturday. This coming week is going to have a lot of fun in it... Tuesday I get a half day off from work to watch some middle school softball and some hot boyfriend softball... Wednesday is dance class. I'm worried about fitting in runs and homework and everything I need and want to do. I'm trying to sacrifice nothing. So far so good I guess, so long as you're not looking at my B+ in English...

So... food? I've been so hungry this week. I've eaten peanut butter sandwiches and Popchips for dinner because it's the fastest thing I can get my hands on. I've eaten a lot of candy. Unfortunately there's just not enough healthy food for my appetite at work. Should probably do something about that.

Last Sunday I posted this recipe on Autonomous Eats' Facebook page, but I wanted to show all of the pictures that I took, so I'll repeat the recipe! I saw these pancakes on Pinterest... Cinnamon Swirl Pancakes... and though I don't know all the Paleo rules (something tells me it doesn't include so much sugar...) I call these my Paleo Cinnamon Swirl Pancakes because it uses the 1 banana + 2 eggs = pancakes recipe. You'll need:

2 eggs and 1 banana, blended together until smooth

1.5 Tbsp butter, melted

.5 tsp sugar

2 tsp brown sugar

.5 tsp cinnamon

Mix the sugars and cinnamon in with the melted butter. I put this mixture in a sandwich bag and cut the tip off. The doesn't squirt too well, but hey, it's the taste that counts not the looks! Pour the batter onto your griddle and then swirl the sugar mixture. This is all a single serving recipe, so use as much as you want... just know that I generally get 6 pancakes out of this recipe, so you'll want to conserve a little cinnamon butter for the second batch. Be VERY CAREFUL when flipping these because the butter melts and does something odd to the pancakes, so when you flip it, butter can splash. They're still cinnamon sugary and delicious. Once both sides are cooked, plate them. I topped mine with a half Tbsp of powdered sugar, which makes for 440 calories, 28g fat, 13g protein and 26g sugar. Not the best thing you could eat, but it's got way better stats than anything a restaurant could provide.

Next I just wanted to highlight something that I ate this week that literally knocked my socks off. I finally tried on of the Amy's Organic frozen meals. These enchiladas taste like restaurant enchiladas. I kid you not. And it's organic, so there's that. I bought another one to have this week as well as one of the Light and Lean meals. The enchilada is a cheese enchilada with a corn tortilla (the meal is gluten free) and it comes with corn and black beans that have peppers in them and they taste delicious! 370 calories for the whole thing. Not too shabby.

Finally, and speaking of Amy's, I had a small amount of chili left over and I LOVE Amy's chili. The Medium with Vegetables and the Black Bean chilis are my favorites, though I've warmed up to the Spicy as well. The Spicy has tofu in it. It's like eating meat chili without the possibility of getting gristle in your mouth. Oh, and it's not dripping with grease and fat, so there's that. Anyhow, leftover small amount of chili. I had eggs I needed to eat. I had cheese. So that pretty much demands a chili and cheese omlette. And at 250 calories how could you actually say no to that? You can't...

For this quick recipe (which I ate for lunch before my 5 mile run) I used:

1 egg + 2 egg whites

1 colby jack cheese stick

75 grams of Amy's Organic Black Bean Chili

Do I need to tell you how to make an omelet? If I do, that's okay... Whip up your egg and egg whites like you're making scrambled eggs, rotate your pan around to move the egg about in the pan until the pans surface is covered and the egg is cooking. I'm a fold over kind of person, I like the egg to be a little runny in the center. If you like well cooked eggs, flip the whole thing over before you throw your toppings in. I heated up the chili first to make sure it would be warm and cut up the cheese stick.

It was fabulous... and only 250 calories, as previously mentioned. Oh yum. That's definitely a keeper... you know... if I actually have leftover chili!

This week is going to be tough. But today I turned in the rest of my week's homework, ran 5 miles, watched my gentleman play softball (and win handsomely, I might add!), went to the grocery, and did dishes, so I'm pretty sure I'm up for anything this coming week has for me. My goal is to get in at least two runs before Saturday, which would exclude Friday since I should take a rest day before the race. I'm nervous... but I know I'll finish. It's only a matter of continuing to move forward.

Toe Socks to Cinder Blocks

For this week's blog post I want to do a two-part post. One for today, to tell you about my awesome obstacle race experience, some things I ate this week, and catch up on what I did last week (since fun and sun with my handsome gentleman mixed with scholarly endeavors sort of took my Sunday). Then tomorrow I'll do a quick post to let you in on my Chalean Extreme progress. I do my last workout of the first phase. Want to take some pics and measurements and see how this has worked out for me! Even if I have no body changes, I'm super strong, and that's all that matters!

So last weekend? Last Sunday I got myself up and proverbially gnawed my nails until it had reached the proper temperature to go out and try my first 7 mile run. I did write a little last weekend, so here's me, quoting myself:

I've been really low on cash recently. Which is a problem because as my runs get longer, I'm finding that I need more stuff. I splurged with some Amazon points and bought myself a new pair of running socks to try. I still have that problem with my left toes where I get crazy blistering. These, though, completely cured it. Done. Figured it out. Now I just need to get more of them! Toe socks... who thought? Used to have these in high school just because I liked crazy socks. These are super thin and super comfortable. Worked great in my running shoes, which by the way, I'm in love with these running shoes. I have to wear Nike because I have crazy narrow feet that only a sweatshop worker knows how to properly equip... these I found on the clearance rack and it's funny because the reviews on them scared me! People were getting shin splints with them. But they work great for me. I still don't know what a shin splint is... and I've been running for over a year now!

Another thing I want to buy is a water belt thing... I have been putting if off because I think they look terribly ridiculous, but there are times that I think a little hydration could improve my runs.

Like this morning.

I ran with 8 oz of water and a bag full of gummi bears in my left hand. Phone in the right hand. I was ready to try for a 7 mile run when I went to bed last night.

And I tried to pace myself. I'm terrible at that. So I turned my phone over in my hand so I couldn't just glance down and see it. I decided that I'd finish when I finished and just wanted to enjoy the sun and the movement. I felt amazing. It was about 46 degrees out when I started, ran in shorts and a long sleeve tech tee and was plenty warm from the start, since the blue, cloudless sky provided enough warmth...

I managed those 7 miles like it was nothing... I finished in an hour and 12 minutes and was so pleased with myself.

I caught up on Chalean Extreme, obviously, since tomorrow is the last workout in the Burn Phase. I ate fairly well this week, but my impending period caused some crazy sugar cravings that I gave into! I ran 3.5 miles during lunch on Wednesday because I was going down to Lowell, Mass that night to see the Jillian Michaels show. 

 I did learn a few things but it bums me a little that I could have definitely gone without the VIP Experience portion. It was essentially a time where people with an unlimited list of excuses could ask Jillian to bless their list of excuses as to why they couldn't work out or eat right. There was also the girl who asked if masturbation was good for your heart... in front of her mother... and I say girl because if she was over 17 I'd be surprised. Just silly. I'm not a prude but I had my head in my hands. But I digress...

I had some interesting food choices this past week. I've really been taking advantage of strawberries being in season, though Jillian taught me organic for strawberries is best because of the thin skin, they're able to absorb more pesticides that other fruits... but I made a tasty strawberry protein shake using:

Juice of 5 strawberries (yea, I used my juicer! Bam!)

1 scoop of vanilla protein powder

1 frozen banana, sliced

6 oz unsweetened almond milk

Blend that bad boy up and stick a straw in it. That's it! It was so good... tasted just like a strawberry milkshake!

I made another strawberry protein shake with some spinach juice included... this green shake was made up of the following:

Juice of 5 strawberries and some spinach

1 scoop of vanilla protein powder

Slash of almond milk

Ice (because spinach juice is not cold)

I just stirred this one together.  Nom.

One more food... and more strawberries (I didn't want them to go bad...).  This time I used a serving of the Fiber One Chocolate Cereal, a cup of almond milk and some strawberries.  Very low calorie tastes-like-chocolate-covered-strawberries cereal treat!

So... about that obstacle race...

I'm SO FREAKING PROUD of myself for what I did today!!!  This race was a 5k with 18 obstacles.  While running I jumped over hurdles, went under hurdles, carried a cinder block, crossed a shallow stream on wet rocks, climbed over walls (lots, lots of walls), waded through two bodies of water, climbed 2 A-frames, did a zig-zag uphill/downhill maze with hurdles, pulled a car tire behind me on a rope, bounded over a stack of hay bails (handsome gentleman enjoyed that one for some reason haha), climbed a structure and slid down the other side, ran through tires uphill, bounded over those gigantic spools, crawled under spider webbing...  I only took one mulligan.  I can't do monkey bars.  I went to the second one and couldn't hold on.  I had gloves.  

Before the race!

After the race!  Can't tell how wet I am!

My handsome gentleman came with me and there's just something about the way he hugs me and tells me he's proud of me that makes me all warm inside.  Warm feelings too were gotten from myself when I was running and literally bounding over some of these obstacles that I FINALLY had the upper body strength to make things happen.  It's all the pushups.  I came in 40th in my wave... waves were 75 people, if everyone showed up.  I remember a time when I could not have heaved a cinder block up on my shoulder and boogied with it.  Barely.

In celebration, ran a couple errands this afternoon which included going to Target for a legitimate bikini.  A real one.  Not a tankini... but a real belly-showing bikini.  I'm pale as all get out and I'm still got my stretch marks, but I don't care.  I'm small enough... and with some color I think it'll work out great.  I can't wait until it's warm enough up here to spend my Saturday afternoons at the beach...  

My shoulders are already sun-kissed from today... and bruised... and my knees are bruised and the backs of my legs scratched up from the bark on some of the hurdles.

socks... hanging up to dry...

Tomorrow, right after my last workout... I'll report on Chalean Extreme results.  Hopefully the macaroni and cheese I enjoyed this evening will not skew any results ;)

To be continued...

Back to Reality

I've been so busy lately.  I've made these little one page sheets to keep myself organized, writing down what I need to do each day, what to do for school, for fitness, and for my personal life.  I do it in an attempt not to let my school work keep me from getting in that 40 minutes of fitness.  Last week was a model week.  I was really pleased with everything I did... especially the FOOD.  We're going to start with that.

As a quick aside, I'm writing this at 5:30 AM because I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.  My sleeping has been really weird.  One night I'll go to bed at 8:30, then the next night not until 10:30.  And I've been waking up before my alarm each day.

I think the trouble people have with eating comes with the preconceived notions they have about when and what they should eat.  The food pyramid is great and you should definitely get all of your nutrients and food groups in, but who says you have to eat them ALL at every meal?  It sort of forces over eating in my opinion.  That's why, with my 5 small meals a day, I try to get in all of my carbs in the first three, protein in all of them, veggies or fruit in all of them...  and I find that preparing many things ahead of time help me do that.

Last weekend I prepped 4 servings of seafood to have ready and waiting at the beginning of the week.  I made some cajun shrimp and some salmon.  These are both very quick things to cook.

Just in case you've never tried cooking any of these things there's different ways.  If you're busy doing something else and you don't want to babysit it, bake it.  Salmon is usually pretty good at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, depending on how thick your piece is.  I made both of these things on the Foreman Grill, which is super fast.  Salmon usually cooks between 3-4 minutes.  I flip it after 3 and then do a little extra.  Flake a little off.  If it's too pink (and you'll know the difference when you see it) just cook it a little longer.  Shrimp cook in about 2-3 minutes on the Foreman Grill.

I made some Cajun Shrimp and Broccoli Alfredo with one of the servings of shrimp.  Came in at 260 calories.  Here's what I used:

1 cup cooked spaghetti squash
1/4 c Ragu light alfredo
8 cooked large shrimp
1 serving frozen broccoli florets

This recipe couldn't be faster because everything was already cooked.  I spend my Sunday cooking things like my sweet potatoes, spaghetti squash, meat, anything that I'm not going to want to cook after a day at work and then a workout.  

So reheat your spaghetti squash then add your sauce.  Stir well to get the sauce well distributed.  While stirring, microwave your frozen broccoli until done.  Add broccoli and shrimp and heat again until shrimp are warm.  Try to not over-nuke this last step because it can make your shrimp a little rubbery.

It was very tasty and just what I needed.  Definitely try it out for yourself!

As an example of showing that you don't HAVE to eat every food group at every little meal, I'll show you my lunch from yesterday.  I love avocado with salmon, which sucks because it's super fatty (though all good fats!).  I literally just heat up a little salmon and eat it in a bowl with some avocado.  If you have strawberries, that is also fantastic with it!

I've been on a pursuit for new ways to have my protein shake.  It's not that I'm getting tired of them, but hey, why not enjoy something new?  So I tried the coffee protein shake recipe that I saw on Pinterest.  Here's what I used...

1 scoop vanilla whey protein
1 brewed cup (not necessarily 8 oz) of coffee, cooled
1/2 cup almond milk (sweetened or unsweetened)

Couldn't be easier.  Just stir your protein into the coffee (you'll be surprised how well it dissolves in coffee!) and then pour in the milk and stir again.  Done!  I've used a couple different coffees.  I have a Keurig, so I made a Caribou Daybreak the first time and it was good.  The second time (and each time after that) I used the Green Mountain Caramel Vanilla Cream.  Dunkin Donuts got nothing on me.  Especially because, depending on your almond milk (and yes, you can use regular milk), it could be as low as 115 calories for the lot.  I've stopped buying cow's milk.  Thank you, almond milk.  Don't worry.  I still get plenty of dairy.  Mmm.  Yogurt.

Something else I tried from Pinterest... the "making popcorn in a bowl in the microwave" trick.  I swear to you... it works.

I took a serving of popping corn and put it and nothing else into a pyrex bowl.  I placed a plate on top and set the microwave for three minutes.  It started popping!!  And not burning!  Once the popping slowed down, I took it out:

There were some unpopped kernels, and according to the Pinterest link, you can remicrowave that.  So I removed my popped popcorn into another bowl and was left with this:

See the super dark ones?  Those won't pop... Most of these popped when I put it back in for another minute (don't forget to cover again with the plate).  They will not pop with a third time in the microwave, so whatever you get from the second go round is what you get.  But it's popcorn, quick, with no stuff all over it.  You can, of course, add whatever you want, but you have so much more control this way!  It's also easier to track your stats with this.  My big serving of popcorn was 130 calories.

I've been working on eating what I have in my freezer.  Not just to save money (saving it as in eating what I have rather than buying more food to pile on top of it) and I finally finished my box of Gordon's Skillet Tilapia.  They're pretty good, not going to lie.  It's also great that you can cook them in the skillet and get a nice crust on it.

I made some fajita veggies to go with it and though I had no tortillas, this was super tasty.  Just another example of the fact that no, you don't have to have a "carb" with your meal.

Lastly, Sunday (when I was supposed to be making a blog post!) I made those paleo pancakes (1 banana + 2 eggs) but I added cherry craisins and white chocolate chips.  Oh my goodness.  DELICIOUS.  This was also an attempt to use what I had.  I found that my craisins had well exceeded the expiration date :P

I really need to figure out how to make a table of contents for recipes for my blog... if anyone knows how to do that in blogger and wants to lend me some tips, I would love them!

So that was the food.  How about the fitness?  Week Two (and now the first workout of Week 3) of Chalean Extreme going off without a hitch.  I got to lift at the Handsome Gentleman's house last Thursday and his weights are so much easier to switch than mine.  Also, he has a freaking billion of them so you can leave the 12 pounds there while you work with the fifty other little handle thingies he's got.  Love it.

Last week I did...

Monday:  Running.  2.5 mi.
Tuesday:  Chalean Extreme, Burn Circuit 1, Week 2
Wednesday:  REST
Thursday:  Chalean Extreme, Burn Circuit 2, Week 2
Friday:  Running.  4 mi.
Saturday:  Chalean Extreme, Burn Circuit 3, Week 2 and Jillian's Killer Abs Level 1 (yea... I missed Jillian... so what?).
Sunday:  Running.  6.05 mi.

My body requires a little more rest than it did before.  Monday was to be my Chalean day (I try to put at least one day between those lifting workouts) but I just... couldn't.  I've been having some issues with only being able to do about 12 pushups at a time.  I was tired.  So instead of doing that, I worked on school work all night and went to bed a little after 9.  

When I got up yesterday morning, I did 20 pushups.  I blew past 15 no problem.  I think I just needed the extra day.

Of course, I'm busy, so I felt like I needed to get that workout in as well as get miles in, since I have a 12k in a month.  So yesterday I ran almost 2.5 miles at lunch and then came home and did Chalean.  I always feel so good when I exercise.  I feel sluggish when I get absolutely nothing in.

The rest of this week will be challenging.  I have a lot of school work to do this week, but I've been keeping up fairly well.  Just need to stay focused.

Some upcoming events in my life:

May 1:  Going to go see JILLIAN MICHAELS!!!  I'm so stoked!! :D
May 4:  First Obstacle Race Ever!!!  I've ordered some pretty pink gloves to keep my hands safe :)
May 18:  My first race longer than a 5k!!  12k!!  
May 29:  Half Marathon Training Begins!

What have I gotten myself into?